Down to Life

Not As Easy As It Sounds

2012-01-15T04:14:00.000Z

I'm constantly working on improving Antalya's speech. This is the area she most struggles in. She has so much to say, but just struggles to express herself in a way that can be understand. She is so patient about it, and will repeat something as many times as it takes for me to understand. I'm learning to be patient like she is, although I still have quite a ways to go.

Lately she is trying to say so much more. Here's a few of my recent favorites:

I always sing songs to the girls before they go to sleep.

Tonight Antalya wanted to sing the "I song".

I was clueless.

I quickly thought through every kids song I know to see any rhymed with "I".

We went back and forth for several minutes.

Antalya, "I song".

Me, "I don't know the I song."

Finally I heard her trying to find the words for the song and made out an "H, I, J" in her mutterings.

Aha - the alphabet!

And to think, all these years I've always thought A, B, and C were the most memorable letters.

Antalya is fascinated with babies. She loves seeing babies, pretending to be a baby, and looking at pictures of babies. But what she is most fascinated with is newborn babies. I've been trying to teach her the term "newborn baby" for months, but whenever she tries to say it, it comes out "corn baby". It gets some weird looks when she says it to be people with little babies. But I think it is one of the sweetest things.

I had a rough little patch with the girls tonight. Finally I just said, "Antalya, you are frustrating me!" She looked up at me with a huge grin while she did her best attempt to say "frustrating me." Then got such a pleased looked on her face that she had said something new, that I couldn't help but just melt on the spot and give her a big hug.

I love this little girl!

Changed for the Better

2012-01-12T04:00:00.001Z

A friend of mine asked me to write my thoughts on raising a child with Down syndrome. I thought I would share them here.

I remember it as if it were yesterday. The day my world was turned upside down. The doctor delivered the news to my husband and I that our first baby would be born with Down syndrome. At first I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock. I was scared.

And then the tears came. And came. And came. I mourned as if I had lost a child, because that's what it felt like at the time.

I spent endless nights worrying about whether or not my child would be beautiful, and whether or not she would learn to walk or ride a bike. I worried about how I would care for her and teach her, and who would take care of her when I died. I worried that she might not like to rock climb like her dad and I, or dance like her grandmother, or graduate from school. I worried, and I cried, and I worried some more.

And then she was born.

And she was beautiful.

And my heart filled with more love than I could ever imagine.

And as the days and months went on I realized that our little baby was just what we needed. She introduced us to a whole new world, and dozens of new friendships and opportunities. Before we knew it, it seemed that almost everyone we knew had a connection to someone with Down syndrome.

We met other children and young adults with Down syndrome. And they were beautiful, and talented, and smart, and loved and cherished by their families.

And we learned to celebrate every victory. Like the first time Antalya rolled over, or clapped her hands, or held a cup, or walked on her own.

And now, five years later, we still celebrate every victory. Like, yesterday when she spelled her name correctly for the very first time and I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

And I have learned that all my worries, were just worries. My daughter is beautiful. She is smart. She is talented. She runs, jumps, and plays with the other children her age. She loves to dance and sing. She knows her letters and numbers, she’s learning to read and write. She can make her little sister laugh harder than anyone else. She is loved and adored by cousins, grandparents, teachers, and friends. And she puts a smile on my face every day.

Sure there are challenging moments. Lots of them. But what parent doesn't have challenging moments with their children? So we take them as they come, just like we do with our 'typical' daughter, doing our best to teach her, and help her become all she needs to be to survive in this world. But with all the teaching we do, it is our daughter that does the most teaching.

Every day she teaches us through her actions the power of persistence and determination, the importance of a positive attitude, and that love should always be unconditional.

Our lives have been forever changed for the better because of our sweet Antalya!

A New Chapter

2011-12-13T06:03:00.000Z

Moving day came!

My parents deserve an award for putting up with us in their home for six months. We loved spending so much time with them, and I am grateful my girls had a chance to get to know them so well. My parents are amazing.

But all chapters must end, and new ones must begin.

And this next one keeps us in Utah for at least a couple more years. Jason's parents were called to serve a two year LDS mission in California. When they asked us if we'd be willing to stay in their home while they are away, we jumped at the chance.

The girls are enjoying having so many new closets and rooms to discover. But despite new toys, new hiding places, and our first ever 'playroom', the girls still prefer what they call 'making a cake' as the activity of choice the second I sit down to the computer, or start talking on the phone.

With the move, Antalya had to say goodbye to her school class that we have grown to love so much. But at her new school she gets to ride the bus.

Victoria and I see her off each day,

and then anxiously wait for the bus to bring her back home.

Life is good!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-30T00:09:00.003Z

'Tis the Season

2011-11-28T04:06:00.001Z

One of my most favorite things about Christmas in Utah is seeing
the lights at Temple Square.

It signals the beginning of the Christmas season for me.

Last night we bundled and went as a family to show the girls the beautiful lights.

May your season be bright!

2011-11-14T04:59:00.001Z

Since returning to the states, I have had the craft bug like never before.
I think it comes from a strong desire to settle down and make a home - to decorate walls and have throw pillows, to watch the girls playing in the yard from the kitchen window, to be in the same spot long enough to make it feel like it's ours.

In fact, lately, I would rather be sitting at the sewing machine than the computer (or at least that's my excuse for not blogging lately).

Tonight I stumbled upon these cute stockings.

I think I might add it to the list of things to make before Christmas.

October

2011-11-02T16:59:00.003Z

Wow! October completely got away from me. It's been a busy month with lots going on.

So here's a quick catch up with photos...

Antalya turned FIVE!!! There was much celebrating!

On Antalya's birthday, Victoria gave her the best gift possible. She asked for her to push her in the swing (usually if anyone except I pushes her, she instantly decides she doesn't want to swing). This let to helping each other in and out of the swing and taking turns pushing. It did this momma's heart good to see them playing so well.

It seemed we had more than our share of Halloween parties this year!

We spent three wonderful days camping and hiking at Zion National Park with some of the cousins.

We had a fun outing to HeeHaws farm with the cousins.

Antalya had her first dance performance with the Pals dance group. When she realized everyone was watching her and clapping for her, her face just lit up. It was so fun to watch her. Her group is performing at the Festival of Trees this year and I can't wait to watch her again!

New Family Photos!

We found lots of witches at the WitchFest with Gramma.

Trick-or-Treating Fun!

Hope your October was a good as ours!

Today

2011-10-05T18:10:00.000+01:00

At 6:30 this morning Antalya and I were in the car rocking out to her favorite version of The Wheels on the Bus. Despite my efforts to convince her otherwise, Antalya was convinced we were headed to Uncle Scott's house to play. We've only been to his house once, and it most definitely was not at 6:30am.

As we drove through downtown Salt Lake City I was reminded again of how quaint this city feels after being in London for two years. I feel like I could pick up the whole city and hold it in the palm of my hand. But I love it! Especially when I hit every green light on South Temple. This city is my home.

Just as the sky was beginning to lighten behind the mountains, we pulled into the parking lot at Primary Children's Hospital for a full day of doctors. Lucky for Antalya, she will asleep for most of it! They let me follow her back to the OR and stay with her until she was out. As I walked out, I couldn't help looking back at my little girl. She looked so tiny laying on such a big operating table.

She will be out for the entire morning with a line-up of dental work, ear tubes, echocardiogram on her heart, and ABR hearing scan.

And I will spend the morning waiting, reading, and enjoying a few quite hours all to myself!

2011-10-04T04:35:00.001+01:00

I am beautiful.

I am smart.

I love to dance.

I forgive quickly, and love unconditionally.

I am a friend.

I can always make people smile.

I am loved by many.

I have blue eyes.

I am a sister.

I am a daughter.

I am Antalya!

October

2011-10-01T17:08:00.001+01:00

Today begins Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

It is also the month Antalya was born, so naturally always brings with it much contemplation on the blessing this little angel is to our family.

Watch for lots of post this month celebrating Down syndrome and the life of my beautiful daughter Antalya.

Free Day Out... 'Cuz It's Been Awhile

2011-09-24T22:18:00.000+01:00

It's the end of the month, our budget is blown, and we still don't have income. So, instead of heading to a park like we usually do when we need to get out of the house, we decided to head downtown.

We didn't want to pay for parking, so we found some free metered parking (Saturdays the meters are free) near TRAX on 3rd South. Our first stop was the new art installation next to Capitol Theatre.

The girls had fun running through the metal poles that move and make noise when you push them. It's supposed to resemble a field of grass.

When we had had our fill, we hopped on TRAX (we were within the free-ride zone) and rode the train to the Clark Planetarium. The exhibits are all free. We didn't pay to watch a movie, because our girls wouldn't have sat through one anyways. I wasn't sure there would be enough to keep the girls entertained, but we found plenty to do.

When it was time for lunch rode the train back to the car and drove a few blocks up to the State Capital Building and had a picnic on the lawn. We eventually wandered inside. I was glad it was a Saturday and no one was trying to work. You wouldn't believe the echoes!! They seemed to go on for minutes. Antalya was in heaven - a very loud, full of lots and lots of yells heaven! And Victoria thought the marble staircases were pretty amazing to run on.

It was a perfect outing - few tantrums, new sites, and all we spent was a few dollars on gas to get there.

The End

2011-08-25T21:32:00.000+01:00

The long, hot, lazy days of summer are quickly coming to an end.

We are soaking up every minute we have left!

Soon enough, we will be burdened with layers of clothing, and big decisions about where to settle down and create a home for our family. But for now, we will run careless and free for a few more days.

For the girls and I, it has been a summer to remember - filled with friends, family, popsicles, watermelon, and picnics. But not so for Jason, who has spent the entire summer in an unfinished office in my parent's basement, pounding out his dissertation.

Tonight he will push the send button on his computer, and this school year will finally come to a close for him! And we will have exactly 11 days to make this a memorable summer for Jason before Antalya starts school and longterm decisions must be made.

We will make sure this summer we go out with a bang!

The Moment

2011-08-12T05:04:00.000+01:00

A couple miles from my parent's house is a beautiful canyon. I have so many memories of hikes, picnics, campfires, cook-outs, and late nights looking up at the stars. A few years ago they put a pay station at the entrance and starting charging $7 a vehicle to enter. The put a damper on my visits to this beautiful place.

Just last week I found out that Antalya's National Park Access card will get us into the canyon for free (did you know anyone with a disability just needs to take proof of the disability to a rancher station and they are given a lifetime pass that can be used for free entry to all National Parks, National Forests, and BLM land?)

So this morning we packed a lunch and headed up the beautiful canyon. I had visions of us spending the entire morning hiking, throwing rocks in the stream, and exploring nature. I should know better than to set such high expectations.

Antalya picked a picnic table to sit at and we started our picnic.

Soon the girls discovered the stream, and so we moved our picnic to the water's edge.

As I was sitting there thinking enjoying the sound of the flowing water and the birds chirping I couldn't help but think what an absolutely perfect it was. No sooner, than I thought that, I heard a loud rumbling coming down the trail. Victoria suddenly jumped into my lap screaming "hold you, hold you" in her sweet little voice. And just like that our wonderful morning out in nature was so rudely interrupted by this monster tractor, that began work 200 yards from where we were sitting.

The rest of our short-lived picnic played out with Victoria clinging to me for dear life, Antalya peeing in her pants, and then running off bare-foot, leaving me to clean up as quick I could, grab shoes, and go chasing after her with Victoria crying on my hip.

But that's life isn't it? Moments of absolute bliss that give us a short reprieve from all the upset, chaos, and hard work of everyday. The challenge is learning to appreciate those short moments when they come around, and adapt to change when it suddenly throws your plans out the window.

Sister Love

2011-08-11T21:34:00.000+01:00

I don't have a sister, and growing up I believed it so much better to have only brothers. With brothers, there was no one to steal your clothes or make-up, no one to compete with over friends and boyfriends, and no one to have to share a room with.

But my girls are changing my opinion of sisters. I love watching their bond grow closer with every day and see the many ways they are able to communicate using only one or two words. Watching them, I am now convinced that what every little girl needs is a sister! Someone to dress up with, play dolls with, create mischief with, and giggle with in bed. Someone to help you put on your shoes when you can't quiet figure it out, but don't want mommy to help, and someone to help you when you get stuck on your bike.

The devolpmental gap between them is getting smaller and smaller. They push each other, and compensate for each others weaknesses. And I notice when they are playing games, they seem to use each other's strengths to work together and accomplish things they couldn't do on their own.

They are definitely two peas from one pod!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-10T21:24:00.000+01:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T05:33:00.001+01:00

More Birthdays

2011-07-27T04:45:00.000+01:00

Jason has finally entered his third decade. I thought he would never catch up to me, but it feels like he has!

And so we celebrated!

Swimming with the girls in morning.

Lunch date just the two of us (and we even remembered to take a picture).

Pizza and arcades in the evening.

Thirty gifts from the girls and I to celebrate every year Jason has been alive.

And then of course, German Chocolate Cake.

Happy Birthday Jason! We love you!!!

Camping Trip

2011-07-23T22:34:00.001+01:00

I have always loved to camp. In fact before I got married I would camp almost every weekend during the summer, even if it just meant throwing a tent up late Friday night in a nearby canyon only to take it down at first light the next morning. When I am in the mountains I feel more alive, more like my true self.

Once I got married and then after Antalya was born, we still camped quite often. In fact, the within a week of Antalya getting released from the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) the three of us were sitting around a camp fire with friends for the weekend. She was still on oxygen (ya, I know, having my infant and an oxygen tank near a fire is not the smartest thing I have ever done - good thing I'm getting smart with age).

But then life caught up to us. And I suddenly realized it has been almost four years since I have been camping. So when my brother-in-law invited us to go camping with them, Jason and I jumped at the chance.

We were a bit nervous of how they would be with the campfire, how anyone of us would sleep all in one tent, and how to keep Antalya from wandering off, but they both did surprising well. Only once did Antalya wander off, and it doesn't even really count because she went to the horses at the camp next to us, they stayed a safe distance from the fire the whole time, and as far as sleeping in a tent - not a peep all night (which is a complete miracle for Antalya who normally wakes up crying several times a night).

I only got a few pictures before the camera died, but the girls loved roasting hot dogs over the fire, going for a hike the next morning, playing in the hammock, and even taking a short ride on the neighbor's horse.

Just Like Riding a Bike

2011-07-22T22:24:00.003+01:00

While we were living in London, we had a small toddler trike that I would push the girls on inside our small flat. I tried over and over to teach Antalya how to pedal the bike, but it seemed she just couldn't get the alternating motion of it.

Several weeks ago, we were at a friends house when Antalya hopped on a trike and starting pedaling down the street. Once the shock of it wore off, I realized a few tears were trickling down my face. I was so proud of her.

Either this is something she learned at nursery in London and the bike we had at our place was just too small for her to pedal, or it just all happened to click at the right moment when she hopped on the trike. But whatever the case, Antalya can now pedal a bike!

Maybe next summer we'll try a two-wheeled bicycle?!

Antalya

2011-07-21T06:34:00.000+01:00

Here is a post I just found that I had written a couple months ago, but forgot to publish:

Antalya is so excited to be going to Papa's house in a few more days. She's flown on airplanes enough that I think she understands pretty well what is happening. When I pulled out the first suitcase to start packing last week she instantly said, "airplane, papa's house!" Her enthusiasm is wearing off on Victoria who now says "papa's house" whenever we see a airplane.

It's been quite the year for Antalya in terms of growth and development. And since it's been awhile since I have done a post about her, here's a snapshot of Antalya at 4 1/2.

She continues to be an early riser - getting earlier every year. She's now at a 5:30am wake up time - much earlier than this momma would like, but I've learned that there's just not much I can do about it. She is finally sleeping through the night most nights which is something she has always struggled with. She still takes a nap most afternoons - in fact, she is usually more in need of a nap than is Victoria.

She is a thrill-seeker! This week we were at a play place that had some monster-scary slides with a completely vertical drop. There were a few older girls in line for the smallest one, but all were debating on who would go first since they were all too scared. Without batting an eye, Antalya climbed right up in front of all of them and off she went, laughing the whole way down. Next she moved on to the highest one that begins with a two-story vertical drop. As I sent her off the edge, my heart stopped for a moment. But sure enough when she got to the bottom she burst out in laughter and yelled "again". I climbed up on the platform to join her, but after one look down decided it was more than I had the guts for.

Every day at lunch she requests a "cheese-meat-munch" which means a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. It is her absolute favorite and has eaten it nearly every day for about two years.

She loves other people and frequently reaches out to grab other's hands as we walk by or are standing waiting to cross the street. I've try to stop it as much as I can, but most people don't mind. She grabs their hand and then looks up at their face with a huge smile that is full of so much love. People can't help but smile back.

She loves to dance and sing and talk to herself in front of the mirror, using anything she can find as a pretend microphone.

She loves electronics - cameras, computers, phones, stereos. And she seems to just know exactly how to work the devices. If I let her have her way, she would spend all day on the computer.

She is busy, busy, busy. She has always been my little tornado - going from room to room leaving some giant mess to clean up in her wake.

She loves her little sister and is always so thoughtful to share with her, and give her a kiss when she gets hurt or is sad. She is very much the leader and is happy to have Victoria follow her around, and copy her every action.

She gives the biggest, most sincere hugs of anyone I have ever met!

I love you Antalya!!!

Look Who's Two!

2011-07-20T04:26:00.004+01:00

Victoria turned two last week and boy did we celebrate! We took the girls out to eat for breakfast (something we do about once a year, and then we remember why we only do it once a year), then to swimming lessons.

When we got back Antalya helped her open her gifts just like a big sister should. Jason spent the two nights prior to her birthday repairing, sanding, and repainting a baby cradle that was my mom's when she was little. It had been broken for years and was on it's way to the trash pile when I rescued it and volunteered Jason to bring it back to life. Victoria loves it!

That night we had a birthday celebration at the park with many of Victoria's cousins. Victoria was heartbroken when the party ended!

Victoria at age two...

never stops moving (I don't know where this girl gets her energy)
constantly has bruises everywhere (just tonight, while I was in the next room, jumped from the desk to the bed in one giant leap which sent her flying across the bed smacking her forehead so hard against the wall it left a dent in the wall)
loves to make up games to play with Antalya
goes absolutely crazy for anything sweet - her favorite being marshmallows
hates when I leave the room
likes to do everything herself
loves babies and all animals to the point of going a bit crazy whenever she sees one
loves to laugh and scream (usually at the same time)
adds so much fun and craziness to our family!

Swinging with Papa

2011-06-30T15:27:00.002+01:00

Nothing can elicit a smile from Antalya quite like when Papa swings her in the backyard.

Memories

2011-06-20T14:32:00.005+01:00

Coming home is like hitting play on a movie that had been paused. It doesn't feel like we missed anything, and somehow we are just picking up right where we left off. It makes London feel almost like a dream, although I know that just a week ago it was our life and all the girls really new.

In many ways it feels so good to be back home, but then there are moments when I have to stop the tears because my heart aches for England - for the simple life we had, our friends, the noise of the city, the High Street shops, the sights and smells, walking to school, and so many other things.

So before I begin journaling our adventures here in Utah, I want to finish with our last memories in beautiful England.

Our last Saturday in London we had a great get together with some of our friends from our church. Not everyone could be there, but we had a great time with those who were. We miss our little ward and all the great friendships we formed there.

The day before we left, we had to say goodbye to all our friends from Antalya's nursery school. On that day, story time was all about Antalya, and Jason, Victoria, and I got to be there.

They looked at Antalya's book that documented some of the things she has done these past two years, and then sang some of Antalya's favorite songs.

We love these amazing ladies who have made such an impact on Antalya and helped her grow and develop so much during her time at nursery.

And then we took our final walk home. This walk from our house to the nursery has been the biggest part of my life with the girls during our time in London. We walked the path twice a day, five times a week.

Every day we would make the same pit-stops. The first stop was to walk on the wall.

Then Victoria would have to give two kisses to the elephant flower stand - one kiss in front, and one in back.

Next was the run through the woods (a line of trees with a small path running behind the trees), followed by jumping practice on the steps.

Then after a quick rest on the grass, the girls would usually ride in the stroller for the rest of the walk home.

That afternoon we said farewell to our not so beloved van. Although we don't miss how unreliable it was at times, we do have many fond memories surrounding that vehicle.

And then it was done - our bags were packed and we went to sleep for the last time in London.

The next morning, after a quick sandwich on the balcony for breakfast we were on our way (can you believe this picture was taken at 5:45am? I miss the early morning sunshine we had there).

The flight went reasonably well. We were so blessed to have an angel sitting right behind us that was so sweet to the girls and was happy letting them climb over the seat and sit with her when they needed a break from us.

And before we knew it, we were at Papa's house. And the girls haven't stopped since!

The Beginning of the Farewells

2011-06-10T14:17:00.005+01:00

The time has come. And whether I'm ready for it or not, in a few days time our two year adventure in London will have ended. I'm trying to feel excitement about going back home, but right now I think the having-to-part emotions are running a bit deeper.

London has become our home. The English have become our family. But now it is time to say goodbye. I know the Lord will continue to guide our path the way He always has. And wherever the journey of life takes us next will soon feel like home.

Today we said farewell to the toddler group at Antalya's school. Victoria and I have been going to the group since it started in January, and have made some great friends.

We will miss seeing their smiling faces every Friday.

And I will miss these amazing women who juggle work and being a mom, and are filled with so much patience and love for their children. Each of them is truly an inspiration to me. Every week I leave wanting to be a better mom. So, thank you ladies! It's been wonderful!

We had planned to have a farewell picnic in the park today with some of our friends from Antalya's school. As luck would have it, the weather was great all morning until school got out at 11:30. Then the clouds starting rolling in, and just as we all made it up the big hill and crossed the street to the park the rain started.

Luckily I had parked my car at the park this morning thinking that the girls would be too tired after playing to walk home. So we rushed into our van to stay dry while we waited the rain out.

After 10 minutes, the rain wasn't letting up, so we decided to just make do and have our picnic in the car. The kids loved it. We put the seats down, spread out a picnic blanket, and had the most memorable time crammed into our car, munching on sandwiches, while the rain poured down.

It was a special treat that Antalya's amazing aid from school got to come along with us. I owe so much to this wonderful woman! She is so patient and loving, yet firm when need be. Antalya absolutely adores her (and Victoria does too). Every morning when we get to school Antalya hangs up her coat, finds her name and puts it on the peg, and then runs off to find Michelle, saying "chell, chell, chell" as she runs through the classroom. Once she finds her, she rushes into her arms and gives her a big hug.

We had a lovely time, and I was so touched that these wonderful friends came out to be with us, despite the awful rain and cold.

I think it is fitting that for our last picnic in England we would have a downpour. It made it all the more memorable (and I must admit, it was much more relaxing for me to have my girls confined in the car instead of running all over the park).

TGIF

2011-06-03T14:06:00.003+01:00

The week has flown by in a big blur of sleepless nights, crying fits that seems to last for hours, yucky colds, long exams, death-defying plummets over crib railings, long afternoon naps, and packing suitcases, with a few intermittent trips to the park thrown in to keep the sanity.

So to celebrate the fact that it is Friday and we have successfully made it to the weekend, the girls and I took a morning adventure to Highgate Wood - a park we haven't yet explored.

It's a straight shot from our house on either the bus or the train. Victoria has been wanting to ride the train for the last couple weeks, but since it's almost a mile walk to the train station, I decided we would take the train there, and then the bus to come home (since it drops us right outside our door).

We took our time getting to the train, stopping along the way at all our usual stops (it's the same route we take to Antalya's school everyday). Victoria was so excited when we made it to the train (you'd think this girl had never ridden the train before), but she played it cool sitting in her own seat for the entire 10 min ride.

The park was beautiful. But then again, all English parks are truly amazing. It's one of the things I will most miss about living in London. I loved walking through the wooded area, but Antalya all too quickly spotted a bright colored something in the distance and took off at mach-speed through the trees in hopes it was a playground.

The girls were happy to play while I chatted with a friend. It was like a little piece of heaven. I can't remember the last time I sat down on a park bench with a friend and was able to hold a conversation. Only once did I walk search the entire playarea in a bit of frantic wondering where Antalya had run off to (she was there the whole time, just hidden from my searching eye).

When we had had enough of the playground, we headed back to the wooded area for some climbing.

And then after a quick stop for ice cream we were on the bus back home - dirty and a bit tired, but happy!

And now for an update on all of us:

Jason is three exams down, two to go!

Sunny has surprisingly convinced her body that sleep isn't really all that necessary and is managing to get the house organized and things packed (hoping to be completely done and ready to go by next Saturday).

Antalya is finally on antibiotics for her sinus infection and eye infection. She was able to sleep last night, so I think we are on the mend (although watching Monsters Inc and eating popsicles at 1:00am was memorable, it's not something this momma enjoys on a regular basis).

Victoria has decided she is ready to be a big girl (despite my wishing that she would stay in a crib for another year). I took the side rail off her crib this morning and she was thrilled. And today instead of going down for a nap she got to sit on the couch with Antalya and watch a show. I was pleasantly surprised when this happened:

Princess Diana Memorial Playground

2011-05-21T15:57:00.007+01:00

It's been almost two years since we moved here to London.

On our very first day here in London, while walking through Hyde Park, my mom and I stumbled upon this amazing playground that was built after the death of Princess Diana. Since that day, I have been wanting to get back there with the girls to play. Now, with only a few Saturdays left, and Jason spending every minute preparing for exams, I decided it was time for me and the girls to make the journey.

You would think that since the playground is in London, and we live in London, this would be easy enough, but it's not (hence the reason it's taken me almost two years to return). If I opted for public transportation it is over an hour away with several transfers. Or if I drove, I would have to tackle the London traffic with no guarantee that once we arrived I would be able to find parking.

I decided to take my chances driving. After a 20 minute detour trying to find a place to fill up the car, we made it, and even found parking nearby.

The playground is pretty amazing. The main area is filled with sand and water, with a huge pirate ship. But, that's only one part. There is also a little kids play area, a teepee area, a wooded play area, and a musical area.

The girls loved running around seeing all there was to do. We were all a bit sad when we had to head back to the car before the paid time on our parking space lapsed.

Carnival Fun

2011-05-19T20:25:00.004+01:00

There is nothing that makes me feel more like a little kid than carnival rides. I love the music, the crowds, the cotton candy, the lights, the grins on little kids faces.

So, of course, when I saw that the traveling summer carnival was going to be at our local park this week I made sure to have an entire afternoon free to take the girls.

We had a blast! It was Victoria's first real time experiencing rides of any sort. She was in love with these little cars. I think she went on them at least ten times.

It made me day seeing her cute smiles and waves each time she passed by me. And as soon as the ride came to a stop she would quickly say, "one more!", with a huge, hopeful grin on her face.

Antalya loved it all! But that's no surprise. She is my thrill seeking daughter - the louder and faster, the better, when it comes to her preferences.

She was stuck riding the littlest rides with Victoria for most of the time, but once Jason arrived, she and I quickly headed to the big kids lines.

She absolutely loved the one that plays really loud music as you go round and round so fast that you have to cling on to the handle bar to not be thrown to the other side of the car. This is a picture of her excitement before the ride even began. I think I can fairly say, that once we got going really fast, she was in complete heaven!

And of course, no fun day out is ever complete without an overly priced ice cream cone!

Happy Thursday!

May Catch Up

2011-05-18T19:24:00.004+01:00

I recently heard someone say that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. That seems so true lately!

We are down to less than a month in England, and it seems each week is flying by quicker than the one before, and we are finding ourselves more and more busy with each coming day.

Here's a little of what we've up to:

Our favorite treat lately is California strawberries. I can't always find them, but when I do, they are worth any price I have to pay. They are by far the juiciest, sweetest strawberries we have had while here in London. Sometimes we even hand dip them in melted Lindt chocolate. I'll tell ya, it is as close to heaven on earth as one can get!

When I first arrived here in London, I started talking to another mom at the park. She had two year old twins, and was just as stressed out as I was. We were a good match! Over these past two years that friendship has really blossomed and our children have all become great friends. Two weeks ago they moved to Australia. It was difficult to say goodbye knowing we might never see them again in this life. We miss Linda and her cute Lewis and Sienna!

Mine and Jason's niece, Kristen was here for two weeks at the beginning of May. We had such a wonderful time with her. We began taking evening trips to the park. It was the perfect way to wear the girls out before bed.

Since we moved here I have been anxious to visit the London LDS Temple. A temple is a building different than our regular Sunday meeting houses, a place that is very sacred and important to those of our faith. But it's more than a two hour drive from our house, so I hadn't yet been able to go there. While Kristen was in town, we decided to make the journey. It was such a wonderful experience and so worth the drive!

The night before Kristen flew out we got tickets to see Hamlet performed at the Globe Theatre. It was truly the most memorable experience I have had here in London. We purchase the groundling tickets that the common people would have bought back in Shakespeare's time (meaning the standing room only area in front of the stage). We arrived early and were able to get a standing spot right next to the stage. We were literally leaning on the stage the whole night, with the actors only inches from us. It was incredible! An experience I hope never to forget. I'm kicking myself for not taking a camera with me - so this picture I found on google will have to suffice.

Over this past weekend, my good friend Christine, and her family came to visit. They have been living in Qatar the past two years and are on their way back home to the states. We were so excited they decided to stop in London for a few days. While her husband took the two older boys to Paris, Christine and her two youngest stayed to play with us. The girls were in heaven having two play mates staying at our house.

And now, we have a couple days of calm before our last round of visitors arrive on Saturday. I feel like life has never than better than it is right now. I'm soaking up every last memory I can of London before I have to say farewell.

A Weeks Worth

2011-05-03T14:38:00.008+01:00

With success in the toilet training department, an ENT appointment, the arrival of the girls cousin, Kristen, a Royal Wedding to celebrate, a trip to the London Zoo, and the death of the most wanted man in the world, it has been quite a week!

With all the toilet training we have been doing with Antalya, Victoria has surprised us by deciding that she is also ready to be done with diapers. But although she might be ready, I'm not ready to cope with the unavoidable "accidents" and emergency runs to the toilet for two little ones at the same time. So, she's stuck wearing diapers whenever we are not at home until I feel more confident about Antalya's ability to not have accidents when we are away from home.

Antalya's sleeping and what seem like continuous sinus infections have had me worried for some time. But ironically, once the appointment with the ENT was within view, her congestion cleared up, and she has started sleeping through the night for the first time in her life. I don't know why the sudden change after all these years, but I'm not complaining. I hope it continues for both of our sakes!

Kristen arrived last Thursday. I love having people visit, and the girls are loving it as well. Victoria thinks she is her new best friend!

(Victoria looks very concerned because Antalya has just run off, with Jason chasing after her)

I absolutely loved watching the Royal Wedding of Will and Kate. In fact, I was really surprised at just how much I enjoyed it, and even more surprised that the girls sat through most of it. We went to a party at a local school with a friend and watched it on a big screen while enjoying one of my favorite treats - english scones with jam and clotted cream.

(Antalya still talks about the "Princess" and wants to watch it again).

Two of my favorite quotes from the ceremony were:

Every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future (Rt. Rev. Richard Chartres).

Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire (St Catherine of Sienna).

And the day was complete when a DJ showed up in the afternoon and all the kids could dance their hearts out.

The next day was our first trip to the London Zoo. I was grateful to have Kristen to help out with the girls. Victoria is completely obsessed with animals lately and didn't want to move once she found one. Antalya on the other hand is completely bored with looking at animals and prefers to run wild, stopping only briefly to catch her breathe when needed.

Here is Victoria strutting her stuff through the zoo. She picked out her entire outfit that morning and was very proud of it (although I must add, that she originally was wearing her wellies, but I made her change them for shoes since it was so hot out).

And don't let this angelic face fool you, she is quite the handful sometimes! She gave me the scare of my life when, while I was in the midst of cleaning poop off Victoria's bum on the changing table, she snuck out of the bathroom, through the cafe, and back outside without me knowing it. As soon as I got a clean diaper on Victoria and realized she was gone, we took off at mach speed running through the cafe with Victoria barely clinging onto my side. Luckily Kristen and another friend that were on their way into the cafe caught her before she escapes too far.

(Notice her name and my phone number written on her hand, after this experience I'm considering having it tattooed to her forehead just in case).

And now we have the news that Osama-bin-Laden is no longer wanted! I feel proud to be an American, and grateful for the brave men and woman who brought justice to the man responsible for creating so much terror throughout the world for so many years.

And here's to another week!

When Nature Calls

2011-04-25T21:34:00.004+01:00

We've done it! Antalya is officially diaper free during waking hours. Can I get a big "hooray"! That doesn't mean she completely accident free, but we're getting there.

Tonight we all headed to the park to feed the ducks.

After the ducks got their fill, we headed to the playground. For those of you who haven't experienced an English park, they are huge! This particular park has several ponds, a playground, tennis courts, soccer field, etc, etc.

So while we are at the playground, Antalya makes it known that she needs to pee. I have no idea where the toilets are, so I quickly pick her up and all four of us start walking over the entire park trying to find a toilet for Antalya so that she will understand that there are toilets in places other than at home.

After 10 minutes of searching, we admit defeat and find a little secluded area with some bushes to hide behind. I help her take her pants off and try to get her to pee in the bushes. She of course has a different idea and runs out, half naked, onto the grass, sits down, and takes care of business.

I'm proud of her for not having an accident in her pants. But now I can just see her every time she needs to pee, thinking she can pull down her pants and sit on the grass and do it. I think I better warn her teacher at school just in case she tries to do it school.

Happy Easter

2011-04-25T14:34:00.003+01:00

Since easter egg hunts aren't a common thing here in England, we decided to head to a park on Saturday morning and create our own. The girls played while Jason hid some eggs in a small area (I'm sure those who saw him thought it was really strange). This was Victoria's first egg hunt, but she quickly caught on.

After they had their fill of candy, Antalya was excited to do some climbing,

and Victoria is always happy when she can find some ducks to chase.

On Easter morning, Antalya was super excited when she realized there was more chocolate to be had!

And Victoria couldn't believe there was bubbles in her easter basket.

Although all the candy and egg hunts are fun and make it memorable for the girls, it was pondering on the true meaning behind the celebrations that made this a memorable Easter for me. There is something about getting older that makes eternal truths more meaningful to me. I am incredibly grateful for Jesus Christ, for his sacrifice and atonement, and for conquering death that we might all live again!

Happy Easter!

The Missing Egg

2011-04-19T20:22:00.002+01:00

Antalya has hidden an egg somewhere. We can't find it.

In order of least likely to most likely, here is what might have happened to the missing egg:

Antalya cooked it, ate it, and cleaned up her mess.
It got flushed down the toilet.
It is in the garbage.
It was hidden in some obscure place without breaking the shell.
It is smashed in some obscure place only to be found when it begins to stink up the whole house.

Wish us luck :)

Resident Fashion Expert

2011-04-19T15:36:00.003+01:00

This last week Victoria has become very insistent on what she will and will not wear. It usually means she picks out an assortment of clothing and wants them all layered. And every outfit must include a hat! Here are a couple of her latest styles.

Patience

2011-04-14T14:18:00.002+01:00

I wouldn't say patience is one of my strongest traits. In fact - I hate waiting for anything. Sometimes even waiting for a red light will make my blood pressure rise. It's always been that way, but I think it is only getting worse as I get older.

I've always been one to make a decision, and then jump on it. Like the week after I graduated High School and decided on Sunday that I wanted to move out, and by Tuesday had moved into my own place. Or when Jason and I decided to get married a couple days before Thanksgiving, and by New Year's were already on our honeymoon.

Once a decision has been made, the waiting becomes pure torture for me.

And that's where I'm finding myself this week. We made the decision to move back to the states, the plane tickets are bought, but now I just have to wait. It's not that I'm anxious to leave England, because truth-be-told, I absolutely love this country. I'm just anxious to start the new phase - the phase that will hopefully lead to a job, and eventually settling down somewhere.

I'm anxious for my girls to have a yard to play in, walls to decorate, and toys that are worth keeping. I'm anxious to have to walk outside to get the mail, to live on a quiet street without fear of a double decker bus running over one of my girls, and a king size bed that is big enough to really stretch out on. I'm anxious for hot summer nights, and fireworks, and picnics at the park with cousins.

Luckily, I get to spend everyday of the waiting with these cuties who have no concept of time.

They take each day, and in fact, each moment, as it comes.

I am continually amazed at how fully they can enjoy the moment. Their laughter is medicine to me, and a reminder that this time will pass so quickly, and before I know it we will be back in the states, and I will be longing for the simple, quiet life we had here in London.

Cornwall

2011-04-08T12:49:00.004+01:00

For months I have been dreaming about taking a vacation this spring to some warm, beautiful beach somewhere on this side of the world. I spent hours online trying to find the perfect get away for our family. But it always came down to just one problem - we are students with no income and there was just no way we could justify the cost.

I had given up on a family get away when I happened to come across a great last minute deal for a weekend cottage in Cornwall, England. So I jumped on it! It wasn't Spain or Turkey - but it was just right for us.

We spent last weekend at The Olde House in the small little town of Chapel Amble, England. The girls absolutely loved it!

We spent two afternoons beaches near the cottage. It was one of the first times the girls have ever seen the ocean. Although it wasn't sun bathing weather, the beaches were gorgeous.

The property we stayed at had an indoor swimming pool, playground, and an old barn decked out with a giant ball pit and soft play, playhouse, and piano. Antalya was in heaven! The only problem she had was deciding if she wanted the pool or ball pit.

Victoria on the other hand just couldn't get enough of the farm animals, and was constantly begging us to go see the animals. Her favorites were the baby bunnies, the ewes, and a random duck that would sometimes roam. In fact she liked the animals so much that the last night we were there, she woke at 2am wanting to see the animals and was so devastated when we wouldn't take her out that she was up for several hours (In hindsight, we probably would have all gotten more sleep if I would have just taken her outside for few minutes).

As we were driving home we realized this is the first family vacation we have had with just our family in over five years. Antalya's only four, so really, this was our very first family vacation with our kids. Jason and I both agreed we need to make a better habit of getting away at times other than family reunions.

The T21 Traveling Afghan

2011-03-31T22:20:00.007+01:00

We really enjoyed our week with the T21 Traveling Afghan. This is a special blanket that has been passed around to families all over the world that have a child with Down syndrome. It is such a wonderful tangible reminder of the common bond we share.

Antalya loved cuddling up with it in the afternoons to watch a show or read books (Victoria liked it too).

We had fun throwing it over our heads and making up games to play with it.

And it got to travel with us to our speech therapy/playgroup sessions.

To see where else the T21 Traveling Afghan has been, click here.

Count It Backwards

2011-03-30T21:00:00.004+01:00

My conversation with Antalya last night at bedtime.

Me: Will you go pick 3 books.

A: No, 10!

Me: You want to read 10 books?

A: 9.

Me: You want 9 books?

A: 8

Me: 8 books?

A: 7

Me to Jason who was in the room: Are you hearing this?

Me to A: You want 7 books?

A: 6

Me: 6 books?

A: 5

Me: 5 books?

A: 4

Me: 4 books?

A: 3

Me: 3 books?

A: 2

Me: 2 books?

A: 1

Suddenly Jason and I break out in cheering so loud you would have thought we won the lottery! Antalya loved all the praise and was beyond thrilled with herself. What made the moment even better was that she showed us a new skills without any prompting from us - in fact, I had no idea she could count backwards. Not sure if this is something she has been working on at school, or if she just happened to figure it out in the moment. My Talya is always full of surprises!

Sheridan's Visit - Isle of Wight

2011-03-29T14:46:00.003+01:00

We really packed it in while Sher was here. Less than 12 hours after returning home from our trip to Northern England, we were all piled back into the car and headed down to the Portsmouth on the southern coast to catch a ferry to the Isle of Wight. Jason took the day off to come with us!

The girls loved the ferry ride! I kept hearing, "boat, boat", "water, water"! And if that wasn't exciting enough, there also happened to be a dog on board which the girls were thrilled about!

(Not sure why Victoria looks so sad in this picture - she really was loving it)

Isle of Wight was beautiful. It reminded me a lot of Ireland with it's narrow hedge-lined roads and little cottages.

We visited Osbourne House which was built by Queen Victoria as a holiday home for her family. This is also where she came to mourn the death of her husband, and where she later died.

We spent the later bit of the afternoon at Alum Bay throwing rocks into the English Channel.

And as the sun was setting we were back on the ferry and heading home.

It was a whirlwind week with Sheridan, but I am so grateful she was able to come visit and that we could see so much while she was here.

Sheridan's Visit - Trip Up North

2011-03-29T14:16:00.002+01:00

Although Sheridan is American, her mom is English, and all of that side of her family still lives here in England. I was thrilled when Sheridan invited me and the girls to Hartlepool with her to visit her grandparents and other family members.

We stopped in York on the way up for lunch. York Minster was breathtaking. It is one of the largest Gothic Cathedrals in Northern Europe. And we took a walk through the narrow medieval streets know as the shambles.

We spent a day and a half at her grandparents home. Sheridan and I have been friends for many years now, and it was so fun to finally meet her English family. I felt right at home from the moment we walked in. Hartlepool is right on the coast of the North Sea so we got to make a trip to the beach too.

Enjoying our morning toast.

The moment the girls saw the water they started running towards it, and didn't stop until they reached it.

But the water was so cold, that their smiles instantly turned to tears.

But nevertheless, we had an enjoyable time - it just didn't involve playing in the water like the girls were hoping.

Sheridan's Visit - London

2011-03-29T13:40:00.003+01:00

It was so much fun having my friend Sheridan visit last week. And the weather was absolutely unbelievable - sunshine eight days in a row. I think we hardly even saw a cloud the whole time she was here.

Here is some of what we did in London while she was here.

A trip to the Olde Sweet Shoppe put a smile on everyone's face, although I was disappointed when Sheridan told me my favorite sweet tastes like wax. To each their own, right?!

Shops on High Street near our home.

"Bumming" around Hampstead Heath

Dinner at a cute Italian restaurant. I tried gnocchi for the first time and loved it!

The English are getting very excited about the Royal Wedding coming up next month. William and Kate are everywhere you turn. And I just saw today that there is a DVD that will be released the week of their wedding outlining their "fairy tale romance". I'm not all that into the royal hype (I'm American, what can I say?), but it will be nice to have another school holiday.

In China Town we bought some Emperor's Dessert. The white strands are made from honey, and are wrapped around nuts. When we asked how the strands were made, the lady replied with a big smile and Chinese accent, "Yes, honey made it!" So, there you have it - I've no idea how the white strands are made, but there are most definitely made from honey!

Jason watched the girls for an entire day so could spend it sight seeing. We walked all over London, and took a boat tour down the Thames River, and made it to the theatre that night. It was an awesome day!

Kirill's Story

2011-03-25T21:23:00.002Z

I have been saddened by the story of this sweet little boy. My prayers go out to the Davis family that hearts will be softened and they will be able to bring their son home. You can follow Kirill's story at Our Eyes Opened

Two years ago Greg and I began praying for God to do whatever he wanted with our lives. We handed him a “blank check” so to speak, and told him to cash it. He opened our eyes to children with disabilities wasting away across the ocean in Eastern Europe. We joined God and started our adoption journey.

Our family is more than equipped to handle a child with special needs. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education. I am a member of the Board of Directors of Best Buddies of Alabama. I have volunteered for RISE and Eagles’ Wings. All of these organizations serve individuals with special needs. My husband I have close friends and family who have special needs and we are a big part of each other’s lives. Our wedding party included some of these special people. Our involvement with individuals with special needs led us to adopt a child with special needs; specifically, we chose Down Syndrome.

As we prayed over the faces of thousands of orphaned children with Down Syndrome, we ultimately chose a little boy named Sergey from Russia. Eight months later, as we neared the finish line of our adoption, one of Sergey’s family members in Russia stepped forward to adopt him. We were heartbroken for our loss, but God showed us that we were following him, and his ways are perfect. We knew we still wanted to adopt, so the way we saw it, two children would find homes because of our journey…Sergey went to his family and now we would choose another child to come into our family. We took great comfort in knowing that God could see this when we first committed to Sergey! We were honored to be a part of his plan.

Shortly after losing Sergey, we received a new referral with a grainy photo of a four-year-old blond-haired boy wearing pink glasses named Kirill. We were instantly in love with him. We had to re-file a lot of our paperwork because of the change in referrals and regions of Russia, but we were fast and we thought we were looking at three more months at the most until we would have Kirill home.

That was well over a year ago.

Since then so many things have happened. A tragic story of an adoptive mother sending her child back to his country alone on a plane with a note pinned to his shirt rocked our world…he was from Russia. Adoptions in Russia came to a screeching halt. Kirill’s region stopped processing adoptions for eight long months. The judge refused to accept any Amercian adoption cases until an official treaty was signed between the United States and Russia.

Even though we wouldn’t be able to finalize the adoption in court until the treaty was signed, we were allowed to go visit Kirill and sign our official petition to adopt him in August 2010. We fell more deeply in love with him. This was our son.

During that time, we found out that Kirill is the first child from his region EVER to be adopted with Down Syndrome. A birth mother keeping her child with Down Syndrome is unheard of in this area of the world. Adoptions of children with Down Syndrome just don’t happen there, these children are literally hidden away from society in orphanages and mental institutions. As our process continued, it became apparent that Kirill would be a pioneer. If our adoption was approved, it would pave the way for other children with special needs to be adopted from this region.

Then, a miracle happened around Christmas and the judge in this region suddenly changed her mind and began processing American adoptions again. We were elated. Could this be the light at the end of a very long tunnel? I was somewhat nervous about Kirill being the first child adopted with Down Syndrome from his region, but our agency was very confident that if we got a court date, our adoption would be approved. In seventeen years, they had never had a case rejected IF the family was issued a court date. We were told not to worry, so I didn’t. After meeting the judge’s requests for several supporting court documents, we were finally granted a court date-March 17, 2011. St. Patrick’s Day…I was thrilled. This would be our new favorite holiday! Our son was coming home!

Our other son, Clayton, who had just turned three when we started this adoption process, has prayed fervently for his brother. He is now almost five. When we told him Kirill was coming home, oh my…we had an excited big brother on our hands! At one point he even went to his room, dumped out his toy cars and divided them into two stacks…one for him and one for Kirill.

Last week, as we sat in the courtroom and suffered through five agonizing hours of difficult questioning, we were not prepared for anything but an approval of our case. Two doctors, two social workers, and the Minister of Children’s Services all made very strong statements on our behalf. They fought for us. Hard.

But when the ruling was read, the judge said, “Your application to adopt is rejected.” The basis given was that Kirill was “not socially adaptable” due to his “medical condition” and he was better off in an institution than in a home with a family. As the judge read her ruling, she stated several times that we were a good family, that we met all the criteria to adopt a child, but that she would not approve our adoption because Kirill has Down Syndrome. She told us that we could adopt another child, because legally our application had no problems according to Russian adoption law. She said she would approve our adoption for a “typical” child, but not this child. Why? The only reason? Because he has Down Syndrome. Even though we were approved by our home study and by the USCIS to adopt a child with special needs. It makes no sense whatsoever. Denying a child a family because he has Down Syndrome is a violation of human rights at its most basic level!

It was like a terrible dream. We were so unprepared for this outcome. As we left the courthouse in a mental fog, the doctors and social workers that had testified came to us and said, “If you appeal, we will fight for you. Appeal. Fight this decision.” Of course we were going to appeal…I could no more walk away from our biological son, Clayton, at this point. Kirill is just as much my son.

So here we are, asking God to move the mountain that is standing between Kirill and us as we appeal to the Supreme Court in Moscow. There are also three other families who are in various stages of adopting children with Down Syndrome from Kirill’s region; one of the families has a court hearing set for next week.

We are hoping that someone will hear our outcry and help us bring our son and these other waiting children home. His adoption will set the precedent for many other children in his region. There are 98 children in his orphanage with special needs alone. It is one of many orphanages in this region that houses children with special needs. This is about more than just one child, the lives of hundreds of children with special need are at stake. Please help us.

Our Turn!

2011-03-25T14:33:00.003Z

The T21 Traveling Afgan has arrived! We are so excited to have our turn with this special afghan that has traveled across many states and countries visiting little ones who share one common bond - Down Syndrome.

As I type, Antalya curled up with the afghan, sound asleep on the couch, getting a much needed nap after a very fun, yet exhausting week.

Sheridan left early this morning. We had such fun having her visit and got to see lots of new places. Since Monday we have been all over London, driven to Northern England to visit her grandparents and see the North Sea, and then driven back down to the southern tip and hopped a ferry over to the Isle of Wight.

Victoria just woke up...I'll post some pics this week. Stay tuned for more adventures with the afghan!

Girl Time

2011-03-18T14:53:00.002Z

What could possibly be better than a girl's night out?

Having your best friend come stay at your house for an entire week!

Sher arrived this morning and I am so excited to have a girl friend around the house for awhile. I tried to find a picture of the two of us on my computer, didn't find it, but found this cute one of Antalya wishing Sher a happy birthday a couple years ago and couldn't resist posting it.

Spring Fevers

2011-03-14T14:28:00.004Z

The sun has come out and all the daffodils are in full bloom. It is absolutely beautiful outside. I'll repeat what I said last year about this time, that London in the springtime is one of the most beautiful places I've seen.

We have been in all weekend with fevers, coughs, and all sorts of yuckiness. I'm hoping this is our last major bug for the winter.

In the late hours of last night as I was rocking Antalya, trying to calm her, and waiting for her fever to break so we could both get some much needed sleep, I couldn't help but think - as most mothers do - that I would do anything to help her feel better. The fact that I felt like death-warmed-over myself meant nothing when Antalya was suffering and needed me by her side.

Which made me think of the people of Japan and the awful things they are going through right now. I have complete faith in the resurrection and that the way has been prepared for us to be with our loved ones again one day, and I can accept that suffering is part of this life - something we must all pass through, but what breaks my heart is thinking of the children, and as a parent having to watch your child suffer.

What choice would one have if the tsunami alarm sounded and your little ones weren't with you? I'm sure most mothers of little children feel as I do that I am completely irreplaceable in their lives. No one else knows that Victoria must have her sippy cup, doggie, dolly, and puppy all wrapped tightly in her arms before she will fall asleep, or that after her bath, Antalya likes to be wrapped up tightly in a towel and held like a baby while I sing, "I've been working on the railroad." No one else understands intuitively what my little girls want, but can't quite explain. I can't imagine not being there to hold them when they are sick, or kiss their owies, or tuck them in at night.

So tonight, my prayers go out to all the little ones across the world that are without their mommys to tuck them in, and kiss them, and tell them how special they are.

Doctor, Doctor

2011-03-08T10:30:00.003Z

I love the English school system! In fact, I could go on and on about how wonderful it has been to be here during Antalya's preschool years. The thing I love most is how individualized it is - or at least our experience has been.

Many of you know of Antalya's extreme anxiety whenever she enters a doctor's office or anything that resembles such. For the last six months or so I have really made it a focus to help her get over her anxiety and be alright with a doctor visit. Her school has played a huge part in this too. The have set up doctor play areas, and frequently send Antalya home with a book about visiting the doctor.

Today, all our efforts culminated. Antalya, two of her classmates, Antalya's aid Michelle, and myself headed to a nearby doctor's office. As soon as she realized where we were she started freaking out and wanting to run away, but she quickly realized that everyone was calm and that her classmates were actually have a good time. And that was all it took!

She listened to my heart with a real stethoscope, she stood on the scale, sat on the patient bed, measured how tall she was, got her blood pressure taken (or as well as you can on your forearm), and even let the nurse look in her ears. It was incredible!

I know for a lot of kids this would be no big deal, but for Antalya, today was huge! It will have me smiling for several weeks at least! And the timing couldn't be more perfect - tomorrow Antalya has a dentist appointment. With any luck she will think it is a continuation of today and be excited to see all the new things.

Cooking It Up and Other Fun

2011-02-24T13:22:00.005Z

I can't believe we are more than half way through the week. Antalya is making good progress with the toilet training, but I don't think she will be ready to head to school on Tuesday diaper-free. I know she will eventually get it, so I'm not too concerned. I'm pretty confident that by her 5th birthday next fall we will be done with diapers during the day.

We've done our best to stay busy this week with all our usual activities which include:

painting (I am happy we have moved past face painting with Victoria):

cookie breaks on our small balcony to celebrate no rain:

indoor picnic lunch when we decided, that even though there was no rain, it still was a little too cold to spend the entire morning on the balcony with one of us only partly clothed:

and of course, my therapy, making yummy treats!

Antalya is getting really good at helping me in the kitchen. In this photo she mashed the bananas all by herself, and her stirring is now more circular instead of up and down.

We made some yummy fruit muffins, that were completely devoured within 24 hours (although that's not uncommon around here).

We used my favorite banana bread recipe and tweaked it since I was in the mood for blueberry muffins. Here's the recipe:

Lion House Banana Bread

1/2 cup butter

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 cup bananas mashed (about 3 bananas)

1/4 cup milk

1 tsp lemon juice

2 cups flour (I use 1 1/2 cup whole wheat, and 1/2 cup white)

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

Cream butter and sugar together, add eggs, mix well. Add bananas, milk, and lemon juice. Sift dry ingredients and add to wet mixture. Grease 1 loaf pan. Pour mix into pan and bake at 350 for 1 hour.

Here's what we did differently to turn it into fruity muffins:

only used 1 banana

added 2 small apples, diced

added 1 cup frozen blueberries, tossed lightly in flour to prevent the whole mixture from turning blue.

spooned mixture into muffin tins instead of loaf, and baked for around 20 minutes.

Hope you like them as much as we did!

More Potty Training

2011-02-21T20:02:00.004Z

This week is what the English call half-term. It's a week long break you have in the middle of every school term. It's a time when most of London is either vacationing elsewhere or planning daily trips to the museum, zoo, aquarium, etc. with their children.

But for me, it is the week I have been looking forward to as the perfect week to go completely diaper free with Antalya. So while everyone else is out soaking up the rainy weather and wearing themselves out going here and there, we are taking it easy indoors - singing, dancing, baking, playing, reading books, but most importantly, making lots of trips to the potty.

Wish us luck that this will be just what my little cutie needs to finally make the break from diapers!

Kung Fu Fighter

2011-02-16T09:52:00.002Z

Antalya likes to steal my camera every chance she can get and start taking pictures. She took this one of Victoria the other day. I love the pose she captured!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T13:34:00.008Z

We've been busy the last week making lots of valentines and eating way too much Red Velvet Cake (we claim to really like the cake, but really, the cake is just an excuse to eat the icing, which I'm pretty sure, is the closest thing to heaven on earth). We've had Red Velvet Cookies, and Red Velvet Cupcakes. It's my favorite thing about Valentine's Day, but then again, I love any excuse to eat chocolate and cream cheese frosting.

Today I feel especially grateful for a love that began like this:

But that know includes lots of this:

Hope your day is filled with lots of love from the special people in your life.

Thursday Thirteen: Rain, Rain, and More Rain

2011-02-10T13:08:00.006Z

Our two day dry spell has ended, we are all feeling very under the weather, and I am in need of a little pick-me-up. So today instead of focusing on all I don't like about the rain, I thought I would remind myself of all the reasons I am grateful for the rain.

1. It gives us a reason to pull on our wellies.

2. It gives me memories like this one.

3. It gives us the most beautiful spring flowers.

4. It makes me appreciate sunny, dry days all the more.

5. It gives us adventures in the rain.

6. It gives us the beautiful green landscape that I love.

7. It gives us reason to have impromptu picnics whenever the rain clears.

8. It can be a nice backdrop for pictures.

9. It produces mystical scenes such as this one (photo by Sonja).

10. It gives us a reason to stay indoors and make a mess.

11. It gives Antalya's hair the most beautiful natural curls.

12. It gives us a reason to do lots of baking.

13. It gives us puddles to play in.

Special Exposure Wednesday

2011-02-09T14:16:00.006Z

Antalya never seems to be too far from a pen and paper lately. When she is drawing she is so focused on what she is doing. In the last several weeks I have noticed that her doodles have started to change to resemble writing.

Just My Thoughts

2011-02-08T14:26:00.006Z

I have sat down several times in the last few days to blog, but nothing comes. Life seems to be just slowly moving forward with not much going on for the moment. I'm not complaining. It's kind of nice to have everything so calm right now. In fact, I'm trying my best to soak it all in.

Spring is right around the corner here in London. In fact, the last two days the sun has finally emerged from hibernation. We so rarely see the sun, that when it does come out it makes the whole city come alive. I just want to soak it up for as long as I can (which according to the weather forecast isn't very long).

But, unfortunately we are back to battling colds, and eye infections. We just can't seem to get rid of it for longer than a few days. So while the sun is calling me outside, I am instead tucked away in our little flat while the girls get a good afternoon nap.

Although I love the good it does to my soul to see the sun, it also leaves me feeling anxious knowing summer will be here before I know it, and with the passing of the summer comes the end of this chapter of our lives. In fact I can't seem to shake the ever present feeling of uncertainty. What are we doing next? Where are we going? How and when do we go there? What do we do in the meantime? And going right along with that are all my worries for Antalya's well being and education. How will we ensure she has insurance to access the health care system? How will she get the educational provisions she needs to succeed in school?

I know it does no good to think of the unknowns, but yet here I sit. Hopefully the girls will wake up soon and we can break out of this house and catch a few rays of sun before they set for the night.

How do you get through times of uncertainty?

What Makes You Happy?

2011-02-04T13:29:00.000Z

For Victoria it is:
#1 Her hat
#2 Her trike
#3 Playing in the bathroom
When she can manage all three at once she feels pretty good about herself!

Thursday Thirteen: The School Run

2011-02-03T13:47:00.000Z

There are so many things about English culture that I have fallen in love with. In fact, I dare say, if all our family and friends weren't so far away, I would be happy staying in England forever. One of the things that I really love is, as they call it, the school run. There are no school buses in London, and parking is limited everywhere you go (meaning there is NO parking anywhere near a school), so it is custom that children are walked to and from school everyday by their parents or carers.

On the same street as Antalya's nursery school there is also: a Jewish school, a elementary school, and a middle school. It means every morning and every afternoon the small sidewalk is bustling with strollers, kids on scooters, dads on their way to/from work carrying briefcases and quizzing their children on the multiplication table, moms chatting to other moms as they walk with their children hand in hand, and greeting other moms that pass the opposite direction. I always feel such a sense of community during the school run.

Here are thirteen reasons why I love the school run:

It gets me out of the house by 8:30 every morning.
I start my day with some exercise.
I get to spend time outside with my girls everyday - rain or shine.
No missed buses - if we are running late, it just means I walk faster.
Less pollution
It provides me with daily quality one-on-one time with Victoria - after we drop Antalya off, I leave the stroller at school and Victoria and I take our time walking and exploring things as we head home or run errands on foot.
I get to know other moms.
Antalya is visually reminded that all children go to school in the morning and that children go to different schools.
As I pass Jews, Hindus, Christians, and Muslims I am reminded that people can live peacefully together.
My girls get some daily outdoor exercise even if its chucking down rain.
Watching the pigeons.
Daily opportunities to practice safe walking techniques in big city - stopping before we cross the road, waiting at the 'green man' at crosswalks, holding hands when neccessary, etc.
Taking part in such an English tradition makes me feel just a little bit English everyday.

Wordless Wednesday: Sisters

2011-02-02T13:36:00.000Z

Dance Class: Take Two

2011-02-01T13:38:00.002Z

Saturday was Antalya's second dance class. The first one didn't go so well, so I was a bit nervous to take her back again. But this time she did fantastic. Several times during the class I had to go help her get back on to task and follow what was going on, but other than that she did really well. In fact, she was one of the better behaved children in the class. I was so proud of her.

It sure is fun to watch her dance it up to music. She is so uninhibited in her movement and expressions. In fact, I decided while watching her dance, that when she dances she is the definition of happy. I wish I could capture it on video. Darn England with all their privacy laws :(

Success Comes in All Shades

2011-01-28T13:48:00.004Z

I've mentioned several times on this blog that Antalya is deathly afraid of doctors. That fear stems from the bigger fear of anyone or anything touching her that is not one of the accepted every day activities that she is used to. I have been working with her a lot lately to try and overcome this. And I am happy to say we are making progess!

Just this week she has made some giant steps. She will now let me look at her ears with a doctor play set and even listen to her heart. We've been working towards this for a year now. It may not seem like such a huge thing - but trust me...it is HUGE!

And an even bigger success was this...

Only once during the painting/drying process did I have to remind her that, 'no, your fingers aren't sick, and no, we are not going to the doctor'. I was so happy when she woke up this morning, looked at her fingers and said, "pretty"!

Success for Victoria these days usually means avoiding any cuts or serious falls. She had a big run in with a chair this week. I'm grateful she came out of it with just a swollen eye.

But, swollen eye, or not, she completely melts my heart!

First Dance Class

2011-01-22T11:47:00.004Z

I signed Antalya up for a Jump and Dance class at our local art center. Today was the first session. She was really hesitant to go, because to her, anytime it's just me and her leaving the house she thinks we are headed to the doctor. She was happy when, even after all my insisting that we were not going to the doctor, we went somewhere that didn't at all resemble a doctor's office.

We had to wait several minutes while all the children arrived and filled out their questionnaire. Antalya stayed very busy running up and down the halls and pushing the buttons for the elevator. When it was finally time to go inside she did an amazing job of sitting next to the wall with all the other children and waiting. But as soon, as they asked all the children to stand up, the craziness began (sorry, but no pictures were allowed in the studio).

Antalya LOVES watching herself in the mirror. To have suddenly found herself in room with so many mirrors was more than she could resist. I let her do her own thing for awhile which included a really cool, funky moon-walk type thing on all fours, running, jumping, screaming at herself in the mirror, etc. But after about 5 minutes of this I realised that if I let her do what she wanted instead of listening to the teacher and following instructions, that the next 10 weeks that's exactly what she would do. So to Antalya's dismay, I insisted that she calm down and listen, and follow instructions. I carried her out of the room kicking and screaming several times.

By the end of the 45 minute lesson I was completely worn out and Antalya was just mad that she couldn't do what she wanted to do. What would you have done? Should I have just let her completely disrupt what the teachers were trying to do with the other children?

The thing that bothers me the worst is feeling all the other parent's eyes on me, and almost hearing them say to themselves, "I'm so glad that's not my child." I hate it because I love Antalya so much. I love how her having Down syndrome has changed me and changed our family. I wouldn't trade her for all the world. And so, I it really bothers me when she acts in a way that would make other people think what a difficult thing it would be to have a child with Down syndrome. Does that make any sense? I just want her to show the world that Down syndrome is a beautiful thing, and that she is more like all her peers than she is different.

Having just said that, I realise it's not fair for me to put such expectations on her. She's only four! So what is the answer? What do I do in a year from now when she is absolutely too big for me to carry out of room if she throws a tantrum. I know a lot of children with DS are smaller than average, but not my Antalya. She is just as tall as most of her peers, and easily weighs more than 45 lbs. Do I just let her do what she wants to do? I don't know what the answer is. So for now, I will just continue to try to do the right thing, making more than my fair share of mistakes along the way, and giving thanks every night that Antalya's love for me is so unconditional.

And hopefully when this 10-week dance course is finished I can say that I was glad we did it!

Why Sisters Are Great, Reason #752

2011-01-20T12:15:00.002Z

Victoria was sitting on my lap. Antalya was supposed to be eating her breakfast, but instead was pestering Victoria.

ME: "Antalya, go eat your egg, please."
ANTALYA: nothing
ME: "Antalya, go eat your egg, please."
ANTALYA: turns her head, places her finger on my lips and says, "No. Listen to me." (the 'listen to me' wasn't completely clear, but I knew that was what she was attempting to say).
Then she turned to Victoria and says, "Baby.....babblebabblebabble.....muppets?"
She then waits for a response, and when Victoria doesn't give one, she answers for her, "Ya." "OK."
Turning back to me, "Mommy, baby...muppets!"
ME: "Oh, Victoria wants to watch muppets?"
ANTALYA: "Ya!"

18 Months

2011-01-17T12:48:00.004Z

Victoria has turned 18 months.

It's hard to believe that she is the little baby that not so long along I was holding in my arms for the first time.

She keeps me on my toes. Constantly!

If I turn my head for more than a couple minutes, I'm guaranteed a big mess to clean up.

This morning it was my favorite lipstick.

She doesn't sit still for a moment.

Not even when she is eating.

We gave up on the booster seat when she finally decided she would rather starve than have a safety restraint on her at the table.

She loves to climb.

In fact, there is rarely a day that she doesn't have a bump or bruise on her head.

She is fearless. If she falls, she hops right back up to attempt the same death defying feat once more.

She loves following along with new ideas Antalya comes up.

It's take her awhile, but she finally has hair.

She loves putting anything and everything in it.

This includes mousse, yogurt, lotion, soup, spaghetti, shampoo, etc.

She loves High School Musical almost as much as her sister.

She hates wearing clothes and a diaper.

She keeps me smiling and laughing every day.

She is blessing and a joy to have in our family.

I love you, My LIttle TriTri!

Cooking It Up!

2011-01-12T12:09:00.006Z

My girls love being in the kitchen with me. In fact, I would say that is where we spend most of the day. Usually at least a few times a week we bake something. Baking with kids is great, because they don't have to be near anything too hot. We pull all the ingredients out onto the table, put the bowl on the table, and then take turns dumping ingredients and stirring.

I'm finding more and more, that Antalya is a lot more willing to eat something if she has helped with the preparation and knows what's in it. I can't always let her help me out when I'm cooking on the stove, but occasionally when Victoria is asleep I let her drag a chair over and help me cook dinner. She always does a great job helping, and an even better job of eating the dinner once it's ready.

Yesterday was one of those opportunities. She did a great job chopping mushrooms, stirring, and adding the ingredients I told her to.

In the end, we had a delicious chicken curry that everyone enjoyed! Hope you enjoy it too!

Easy Chicken Curry
1 clove of garlic
2 onions
mushrooms (or other vegetables)
1 T curry powder/paste (use more or less to taste)
1 apple
1 T sweet mango chutney
1 can chopped tomatoes
2-3 chicken breasts, cubed

Chop the garlic, onions and mushrooms and fry gently in a large pan until soft.
Then add the chicken and curry powder/paste and cook for another couple of minutes.
Add the diced up apple, chutney and chopped tomatoes.
Simmer for 1-2 hours.
Serve over rice.

It's the Little Things, and Other Ramblings

2011-01-08T14:24:00.006Z

Hello 2011!

We're still alive and kicking.

Some of us kicking stronger than the rest.

This has been the winter of, as the English say, feeling poorly. Antalya is finally doing better with her second round of antibiotics, Victoria is proving to have an immune system of steel (or maybe it's just all the clementines and the fact that she is only one in the house that gets a full nights sleep), and as for Jason and I, we are feeling like a double decker bus went off route and ran over us in bed. But we're getting through it.

We've been slowing easing our way into the new year. Jason hit the books working on a paper a couple days ago, and Antalya will go back to school on Monday. The girls and I have been having lots of fun this week, and it's been nice that the snow has been replaced with rain - lots of rain which make for lots of puddle jumping. To make the rain more fun, Victoria now has her very first pair of Wellies (rainboots).
GlU

With the New Year also came a renewed determination on my part to spend at least five minutes a day with Antalya working on speech and reading. It's amazing that in just five minutes of one-on-one I feel like we do more than she gets in a 45 minute group speech session. With just being consistent for one week, I'm already seeing improvements. We are using the See and Learn program that was developed by Down Syndrome International. You can download the material and print it off at home for free. This week Antalya, after spending a couple days reading "where is..." sentences asked me on evening, "Where is Daddy?" (it didn't sound exactly like that, but it was pretty close). It was a monumental moment because it was the first question she has ever asked. I was jumping with joy.

As if that wasn't enough excitement for the whole week, she blew me away with her reading yesterday. We have been working on "noun, is, verb" sentences. For example, "baby is sleeping", "dog is eating", etc. She does really good reading the noun and the verb, but always skips over the "is". But yesterday she was reading the full phrase without any help. My mama heart wanted to jump right out of my chest it was so happy!

And Victoria has been amazing me as well. She has learned how to pull her chair from the table to the kitchen sink. And this week, she has been spending several hours every day with her cups, bowls, and spoons and the sink. She loves to fill all the bowls with water, line them up along the counter, and then put a spoon in each one. Antlaya took this short video of her the other day:

Antalya has added a new level of energy to her High School Musical rock out sessions lately. It always makes me smile to see her enjoying herself so throughly. She's starting dance classes in two weeks, I'm excited to what new moves she will pick up.
**Sorry for the poor video quality. If you're wondering what Victoria is doing, she is practicing the sign we made up for yoghurt - we do that a lot (make up signs for words that I don't know the correct sign for).

All these things, and so many other little things that keep my heart beaming each day, are adding up to a perfect start for a new year that is sure to be filled with my many adventures, challenges, joys, and sorrows. 2011 will be another year of changes for us. Changes that I'm not even sure about. In six months time we will be packing our suitcases and saying goodbye to our English home and beginning a new adventure somewhere. And when I say, 'somewhere', I mean to say, 'we have absolutely no idea where we will be or what we will be doing when this new year comes to close. The unknown used to really bother me, but I've learned to find excitement in the fact that when something is unknown, it means anything is possible!

Here's to 2011...the year of possibilities!

Messy Play

2010-12-29T17:05:00.004Z

Several weeks ago I was excited to find a messy play class at our local art center. I thought it would be perfect for Victoria, so I booked a session for her. She had lots of fun walking through paint, painting the windows, splashing in bubbles, and creating all sorts of messes. But while she was having her fun, I kept thinking about the overpriced fee I paid to allow her 45 minutes of messy play. I decided I would try to recreate it in our flat in a way that could be enjoyed whenever we wanted - without having to book a week in advance and pay the fees.

So yesterday I was out and about I found a big clear piece of plastic that I knew would be perfect to put down on top of our linoleum to allow us a work space. This afternoon we decided to give it a try.

It started out like any other painting session although this time we were all seated on the floor.

But then this happened...

And I quickly realized it would probably be best to remove all clothing while I had a chance.

And good thing too! Within ten minutes we were to this...

Which eventually led to this...

And although Antalya still won't join in on really messy things, she has finally decided it is really fun to watch Victoria get messy, which is a massive improvement for her. It wasn't long ago that she would begin gagging every time a some one's body part came in contact with anything messy.

Lil' Artist

2010-12-28T21:06:00.004Z

Victoria is really enjoying painting lately. She gets so focused with the paint brush in her little hand. I love watching her create her masterpieces.

Worth Remembering?

2010-12-22T19:48:00.004Z

Every night for more than a year now, as I am tucking Antalya into bed I ask if she had a good day. The answer is always a very energetic "YA!" And then I ask her, "What did we do today?" The answer is always the same as the first. "YA!" Then I go on and talk about all the things we did, with her exclaiming, "Ya!" after every thing I say.

Tonight I asked the questions as usual, but was stunned when I got actual answers back. Here's how it went:

Me: "Did you have fun today?"
Antalya: "Ya!"
Me: "Where did we go today?"
Antalya: "Ya!"
Me: "Did we go to Costco?"
Antalya: "Ya!"
Me: "What did you eat at Costco?"
Antalya: "Hot Dog!"
Me: "What did you eat for dessert?"
Antalya: "Ice Cream!"
Me: "What did you eat for dinner?"
Antalya: "Spaghetti!"

When it comes to raising a child with special needs, moments like these are the icing on the cake!

Thirty-One

2010-12-19T20:04:00.006Z

You'd think turning 30 would've been the big one, but not so. Last year, my thirtieth birthday came and when in a blur of sick girls, jet lag, Christmas preparations, a family reunion, and my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary. It's easy to see how it just got overlooked, and I never bothered to spend much time thinking about the fact that I was entering a new decade of life. I felt like I could still hang onto the twenties for one more year.

But this one I saw coming! Turning 31 seemed to scream "grown up" all over it. The kind of "grown up" that means I know what I want from life, I know who I am, I take responsibility for my choices and willing accept the consequences, I stand up for what I believe, and fight for things I think are right. The kind of "grown up" that means I am no longer defined by what year of life I am in, or what year I graduated, or what I studied in college.

I guess in a way, for me, turning 31 is kind of like being handed a clean slate. The mistakes and follies of my teens and twenties are long gone, and my focus is now on the future- making my mark in the world, raising my children, strengthening relationships with loved ones, and building a life worthy of being remembered by my posterity.

Am I over-analyzing the growing old bit? Probably. But all the same, this year I feel different. I feel more confident, more sure of where I have come from, and where I am going. I hear my future calling and I am ready to take it on!

So, here's to being Thirty-Something!

Lesson Learned

2010-12-15T20:23:00.004Z

One of the things that surprised me most about moving to a big city was how isolated one becomes. It seems the more people that occupy a given space, the more alone one becomes. In fact, I can see you easy it would be to live in a flat for decades and never know the person who lives below you.

I must admit, I've kind of fallen into that same mentality. I do greet my neighbors whenever our paths cross, but I have never invited them into our home, or taken the time to get to know them. Partly because I assume they are too busy to want to take the time, but mostly because it's easier to just live in my own little shell and not step out of my comfort zone.

But after today, that will change!

I was climbing the steps to our flat after returning from the grocery store. When I approached our door, I could hear yelling upstairs. I just about put my key in the door and ignored it, telling myself it wasn't my business what went on in the neighbors flat. But then, I made out a "help" among the screaming. I ran up the stairs and was surprised to see the keys in the door. So I opened it and found my neighbor laying on the kitchen floor surrounded by throw-up, having a seizure. I had never seen anything like it before. I quickly ran back downstairs and opened our door just long enough to yell at Jason to call the medics.

I returned to her side, but was clueless what to do. She was trying to tell me something but her mouth wasn't working, and only gurgled sounds came out. I tried to calm her and reassure her help was on the way. But that's when her body starting convulsing like nothing I have ever seen before. And then she went completely still.

That's when true panic set in. She had only passed out, but with my lack of experience to anything that goes beyond Neosporin and a band-aid I was terrified she was going to die. I quickly grabbed her to make sure she was breathing and her heart was pumping and then just starting praying as hard as I could that she would be alright and that the medics would get there "NOW"!

They finally got there. I felt embarrassed that I couldn't tell much more than her first name. But I was grateful that I at least knew that, and that I knew she was a single mom and had a baby and a 6 year old daughter that needed to be picked up from school. After the medics took over I found her baby sleeping in the other room. I picked him up and brought him down to our flat (the girls were ecstatic to have a baby in the house), and called the daughter's school to tell them what had happened and have them phone her emergency contact (luckily I had seen the name of the school printed on her daughter's uniform).

In the end it all worked out. Turns out my neighbor has epilepsy and these fits aren't too rare. She took a really bad fall to her head and is spending the night in the hospital. The daughter is with cousins, and the baby is with it's dad. And I'm still recovering from the fright of it all.

I am grateful I was in the right place at the right time to be of assistance. And I am reminded that despite what our natural tendencies tell us - we really do all need each other. We need to take the time to reach out to others and get to know them. If I hadn't been in the stair well to hear her screams before she passed out, it would've been hours before anyone found her and her baby.

So, I am repenting. I will get to know my neighbors - including the family below us that only seems to talk to us when they have a complaint against us. And, I will learn a few first aid skills - like what to do when your neighbor has a seizure. Because, really, you never know when you might need to step off your little island and help someone else.

Christmas in London

2010-12-14T20:08:00.004Z

This afternoon we bundled up the girls and hopped aboard a double decker bus and headed into the city. We live only about 8 miles from the city center, but most of the time it feels more like we live a world away. The bus ride took over an hour, stopping at every intersection along the way and when we finally got off we were assaulted with almost wall to wall people walking up and down the sidewalks. Christmas lights were everywhere, and I even felt that somehow the massive crowds added to the Christmas feeling.

The girls loved the window displays, especially this one that had dozens of stuffed dogs. Victoria was glued to it for at least five minutes. She would look at the dogs, then turn to me and yell "dog" while pointing at the window, then look back at the dogs, and repeat over and over. She was so excited!

I even managed to talk a police man into taking a picture of all four of us. It's not the greatest, but I didn't have the heart to ask him to take another one since he felt the need to stop all traffic in order to take the picture.

And to top it off we all had our very first hot salt beef sandwich. Let's just say it was incredible! (as long as I don't think about the small fortune this little dinner cost - I'd tell you, but you wouldn't believe me anyways). I can even say now that, I like pickles, or at least I like these pickles.

We walked for awhile taking in the lights then bought the girls a milkshake to keep them happy on the train ride home.

It's Happening...

2010-12-13T19:05:00.004Z

This week I'm having another birthday. I swear I just had one not to long ago. And although I don't feel any different than I did when I turned 21, this time around I will officially join the ranks of the thirty-something crowd.

Last night we had a family cookie making and decorating party. I was surprised that there was more stirring and helping than sneaking handfuls of cookie dough, and there was more cookie decorating than candy hoarding. In fact, it was a completely enjoyable family activity.

In two more weeks we will celebrate Christmas and I am thousands of miles away from our extended family. In fact, except for the two Christmas' I was away as a missionary, this will be my first Christmas Eve that I haven't spent at my parent's house.

Antalya has stopped fighting me about combing her hair in the mornings. In fact, she even lets me style it. The kind of styling that requires her to sit for 20 minutes while I part and braid and twist and make it look oh-so-cute!

Today as I was out doing some errands and it struck me just how much I enjoy the London way of life. I love that I have been without a car and cell phone for three weeks and I haven't really even noticed. I love the fact that I walk Antalya to and from school each morning. I love the fact that when I need to do any shopping I just walk to the High Street and I have all my stores right there - no driving all over town to get different things. I love that the mail and my grocery shopping is delivered right to my front door. I love the way a hot cup of tea and a biscuit helps warm you when it is so cold outside.

So what do all these things have in common? Change! And despite all my best efforts and keeping things the same, change seems to be happening all over the place lately. I'm a bit in shock lately at how quickly the months are passing. And it's left me feeling almost melancholy. I just want to smoother this two little cuties in kisses all day long, afraid that if I turn my head for a moment they will be grown up and gone.

On the Mend

2010-12-07T08:16:00.003Z

I finally decided a trek to the Dr's office was necessary. Antalya hasn't had a cold linger this bad for so long since her T&A surgery over two years ago. So yesterday Antalya and I headed outside for the first time in a week. It's was nice to breathe outside air again! I've got her on some antibiotics now and after just a day I can already tell the difference, and obviously she can too. I woke a little after 3:00 am this morning to lots of noise. I couldn't figure out why my neighbors upstairs would be making so much noise at such an early hour. I wandered out of bed to get a drink and noticed Antalya's bedroom light was on. Then I realized the neighbor's below us were probably wondering the same thing about why their neighbor's were being so loud. I opened her bedroom door and found toys and books scattered everywhere. As soon as Antalya saw me, she yelled, with a big grin on her face, "Awake!"

I think we will all take one more day to lounge around and rest, with no where to go, and no one to see. Tomorrow it will be back to the hustle and bustle of life. But for now, I'm happy to watch Antalya dance around in her pajamas, singing the lyrics to a song from High School Musical as loud as she can:

"Start. New
Right. You. Ohhh.
Now. Eyes. Heart.
Start. New"
(Translation: It's the start of something new
It feels so right being here with you, ohhh
Now, looking in your eyes, I feel in my heart
That it's the start of something new.)

To the Doctor, Or Not?

2010-12-02T13:09:00.005Z

The freezing temps and snow haven't cleared yet, and neither has Antalya's cold. She seems to be getting worse. Under normal circumstances I would head to the doctor, but considering the following I'm opting to stay home and wait this one out.
1. Did I mention it's below freezing outside? It's the kind of cold that I didn't for some reason I didn't expect to find in London.
2. Our car has been parked outside the house for two weeks now. I think the starter is finally out.
3. With no car, it leaves us the option of walking 20 minutes each way. I don't mind, but not sure it would be too good for the feverish, snot blowing, coughing little girl by my side.
4. But really, all of that seems very mild in comparison to what happens once we step foot in the door to the doctor's office. Complete fear overtakes Antalya, to the point that I'm always afraid all the screaming and thrashing on the floor will lead her to hyperventilate and pass out. I'd rather she use her energy to get better.
So, we are home! And doing our best to fight the boredom that inevitably ensues. Anyone have any good ideas of games to play with a 1 yr old and a 4 yr old?

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

2010-11-30T13:38:00.004Z

We woke this morning to a wintery scene outside the window. Last night we got our first snow fall of the season, and all of London was draped with a good two inches of beautiful snowflakes. I was planning on keeping Antalya home from school this morning because she is still trying to get over her cold from several weeks ago, but once she saw the snow it was all I could do to get her to stop long enough to get her boots and coat on.

On our walk to school, every couple minutes she would reach her little out of the stroller and stretch as far as she could to grab another little ball of snow to munch on. Victoria quickly discovered how much she enjoys eating little snow balls too. I was planning on taking my camera to snap some pictures of our morning walk, but didnt' realize I had forgotten the camera until we were already on our way.

It's almost 2pm and the snow is coming down in little flurries. Hopefully there will still be some tomorrow so I can get some pictures of the girls playing in it. But for the remainder of today, I think we will stay bundled up safely inside.

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T20:35:00.003Z

I have so much to be grateful for today! But most of all I am grateful that at the last minute we decided to celebrate this day of Thanks as a family. Normally on Thursday's Jason is in class until late - getting home well after the girls have gone to bed. since our Thanksgiving holiday is not celebrated in England I was geared up to just forget the holiday until this weekend when we could have some family time. But Jason woke up this morning and announced he was skipping his classes and was going to make a Thanksgiving dinner. He even had planned out what was on the menu. So we quickly set to making a shopping list, and the girls and I headed the store. We had a minor set back of the car not starting, but that was quickly solved by pulling out the stroller and heading to a different store that could be reached on foot.

Jason and I spent all afternoon cooking up the feast completely from scratch.

Our Thanksgiving menu consisted of roast chicken (a turkey was too big and too expensive), cornbread stuffing, cranberry ginger sauce, bacon and blue cheese brussel sprouts, cheesy mashed potatoes, and sweet potato pie for dessert.

(somehow the cranberry sauce didn't make it in the picture)

After our bellies were filled we decided to try bowling with the girls. So we bundled up and headed down the road.

Antalya loved it!

That is, she loved it for the first two frames. Then she got bored with the whole "sitting and waiting for your turn" thing and the lights and music from the arcade started calling to her.

Victoria bowled a few more frames for everyone (and despite the look on her face, loved every minute of it) until we decided we were done and left the game only half complete.

We all made our way over to the arcade and finished out our night popping coins in machines.

We missed all our family and loved ones back home, but I am grateful our little family was together today. Hope you all have had an equally memorable and wonderful Thanksgiving!

Playing Hooky

2010-11-24T11:00:00.003Z

Antalya's playing hooky from school this week. I think we both needed the break. She's been trying to fight off a cold and not sleeping well at night, and I needed some time to just be at home - away from the rushing here and there, time to just enjoy the company of my little girls.

It's been awhile since we've played with toys in Antalya fashion, which means dragging every toy and book out of her room and onto the family room floor. She was so excited.

Then we used up some of our uneaten, overripe bananas to make some delicious banana bread to snack on all day. My girls love to help out in the kitchen. They get so excited when ever they see me turn the oven on and reach for a mixing bowl.

Need Your Help!

2010-11-22T19:56:00.004Z

There are several people in my life that I really admire. One of them is my sister-in-law Chamie who is a mother to 11 kids, one of which was born with cerebral palsy, and a grandmother to a little cutie with Down syndrome. Several years ago herself and her husband founded Circle of Support, a non-profit group that offers therapy and dental services for children with special needs in Arizona.

Recently they were selected for a chance to win a $250K grant from Pepsi. The voting ends on November 30th, and they really need your help if there are to win the money. So, PLEASE take a minute and click here to vote. It just takes a minute, but it could mean a lot in the life of a child with special needs.

A Backwards Step

2010-11-18T19:05:00.004Z

About a week ago I told my husband how surprised I was that potty training Antalya was turning out to be so much easier than I had anticipated. Ha! I should know better than to say such a bold statement just a few weeks into the process, right? Well, last Saturday, whatever success I felt like we were having seemed to head down hill quickly. I'm not quite sure what prompted the change, but suddenly we went from having one-two accidents a day, to having more than I could count. I was hoping as this week went on we could get back on track, but things haven't changed much.

I've felt really frustrated about it for a couple days, and several times let Antalya know how frustrated I was. That obviously hasn't helped the situation much. But, like an answer to prayers, a friend posted this link on facebook for a seminar from the Boston Children's Hospital on Down syndrome and toilet training. I feel like a new woman after listening a bit of reality. The main points I got from the seminar were that it is alright to take a step back when needed, lots of accidents will happen and it's best to just not make a point of it, toilet training can be done wearing pull-ups, and toilet training is a big deal - especially for our Ds kiddo's.

So, I've adjusted. We're taking a step (or two, or three) back. My plan is to put Antalya back in diapers or pull-ups, but continue to have regular potty breaks every 45 minutes. Once she's staying dry most of the day, I'll up it to 1 hour, and so on, until we get to two hour stretches. Then we'll switch back over to panties and see how she does.

This whole potty training thing has made me realize some of my own faults. One of my big ones is that sometimes I forget Antalya has Down syndrome. I get so caught up in wanting her to be just like her peers that I forget to leave room for that extra chromosome of hers. I forget how much harder she has to work at things that just come naturally to other children, I forget that she learns differently, I forget that she needs to do things in her own way and in her own time. And in forgetting about the Down syndrome, I get frustrated and sometimes even angry when I think she should be able to do certain things and she's not. It's good that I feel the need to push her, but today I realized that more than someone always pushing her to do more and go faster, what Antalya really needs is someone to walk by her side. Someone who will be patient when she stumbles, help her up each time she falls, and cheer her on through each success. And so folks, that's exactly what I'm going to be! Because this cute little one is relying on me.

Coping Strategies

2010-11-17T18:56:00.005Z

Neither myself, nor Jason were very easy children to raise. So, it's only fitting that we would have two very independent, strong-willed children as payback for all the stress we caused our parents. And boy, are they strong willed! Thankfully Antalya is mellowing out a bit as she gets older, but Victoria flat out refuses to be restrained in any fashion - this includes car seats, strollers, shopping carts, and holding my hand. Over the last few months I've discovered ways to work around for those times when I need her cooperation. One such event, is our trip to Costco. They only way we make it through is follow a set pattern that includes stopping at the food court first to get Antalya a hotdog, and a jacket potato with baked beans for Victoria and I to share. I quickly scarf my food as fast I can to get something in before the girls decide they can longer sit at the table. Then we head back to food counter and buy one ice cream to share. I whip out the cones I bring from home and fix up a cone for each girl, and keep the rest of the ice cream as reserve for when we need it. Then I quickly buzz around the store throwing what we need in the cart feeling as if there is a timed bomb strapped to my back that could explode at any given moment. We get a mixture of odd looks and smiles from the other customers. And by the time we make it safely back out to the car I feel as if I have accomplished something great.

And so, if you ever happen on a scene such as the one below with a mother who instead of frantically reaching for a napkin chooses to pull out her cell phone camera, do yourself and her a favor and let her skip to the front of the line. It's not that she doesn't care that her child is covered in ice cream, it's just that she knows that if there is anyway of making it through the long check out line and to the car, she must make sacrifices.

For You, Mom

2010-11-16T22:29:00.002Z

Our favorite part about Wednesdays is Antalya's speech therapy session, because after she does her "work" we get to stay and play at the children's center for awhile. There is an amazing sensory room with black lights, lava lamp like objects, and tons of tactile things, plus there is a great softplay room with the biggest ball pit I have seen. The girls always have a great time and hate when we have to go. Here's a little video I took of the girls playing in the ball pit last week. It's pretty long and boring, but I know my mom will appreciate it.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-10T06:40:00.001Z

Potty Training Update

2010-11-09T18:48:00.002Z

Well, it's been over two weeks since we jumped back into potty training mode. This is our third attempt in the last 12 months. I'm happy to announce that we are having success. Lots and lots of success! When we are at home I let Antalya run around with her bottom half naked and when she needs to pee she will sit herself down on the potty and do it with no prompting or reminding from me. And she has very few mistakes when we stick to this routine. Unfortunately, she can't always be naked, and as soon as I put pants on her she seems to forget all about the potty, but with some prompting we sneak by with just a few accidents. At school she has done really well the last few days. She won't tell her aid when she needs to go, but her aid is diligent in taking her into the potty every 35 minutes, and that seems to be working to keep her dry. Today was our best day yet - no accidents, except for one poop in her panties. I'm so happy she is doing so well.

In other news, it has been a very cold, dark, rainy last couple days. The kind of weather that makes you want to cuddle up by the radiator, make some yummy soup, and read a good book. So tonight we tried a new recipe for Chili con Carne. It was excellent! So thought I would pass it on.

Rich Chilli con Carne with Spiced Butter
For the Chilli:
6 tsp olive oil
1 lb ground beef
1 large onion, diced
2 whole star anise
3 gloves garlic, minced
1 can diced green chiles
2 T tomato paste
juice from 1/2 lemon
1 can chopped tomatoes
2 cups beef stock
1 can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 red bell pepper, diced

For the spiced butter combine the following:
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp hot paprika
1 tsp ketchup
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup butter, softened

Add 3 T olive oil to pan, add ground beef and cook until evenly browned. Drain and remove from pan. Add remaining oil to pan, saute onions and star anise until onions begin to soften. Add garlic and diced chiles and cook for another 5 minutes. Add tomato paste, stir and cook 5 more minutes until everything turns a brick red color. Add the ground beef and lemon juice. Simmer for a minute. Add tomatoes and beef stock. Simmer on low heat for one hour or until it has reduced to a thick sauce consistency. Add the kidney beans and red bell pepper and simmer for 5 more minutes. Stir in 2 T spiced butter. Remove the star anise. Serve topped with sour cream, spiced butter, lime juice, and cheese.

Hope you enjoy as much as we all did!

Buses and Ice Cream

2010-11-07T19:08:00.004Z

As promised, we had a little bus excursion last week. Antalya loved it! We rode up top of the double-decker bus. Antalya loved looking down at the people and cars. My only complaint was that it was too short. We need to plan longer than a 5 minute ride next time :)

Victoria wasn't thrilled about the bus ride, but then again, she's not happy with anything unless it involves running free with no constraints, or eating something sweet. Lucky for her, she gets plenty of both!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T21:15:00.004Z

And it really was a Happy Halloween! Antalya and Victoria LOVED it - they caught on to trick-or-treating like they had done it for years. It was so exciting for me to watch because this is the first holiday that Antalya has been old enough to really get into and understand what was going on. She did so good not getting scared by masks and weird costumes, and even on the way home we drove past some fireworks and she thought they were really exciting (a huge improvement over our 4th of July experience).

My good friend Linda hosted a great Halloween party for all of us, including decorating cookies, pizza for dinner, music and dancing, and then some good trick-or-treating fun. Here's the whole gang:

Hope your Halloween was as wonderful as ours was!

"Mommy, Boat!"

2010-10-30T18:48:00.005+01:00

Antalya has always loved to color, but lately I've noticed that she has become very focused when she makes her scribbles on paper. All that concentration finally paid off for her today. She was happily scribbling away at the desk when suddenly I heard, "Mommy, Boat!" I came running and sure enough, Antalya had done drawn a boat! She was so proud of herself, and I, likewise was beaming.

It's the little things like this that that make being a mom to a child with special needs such an amazing job. There is so much that is taken for granted when you have a normally developing child. It's such a blessing to take a step back from that and have the time to celebrate every little milestone that is accomplished.

I'll leave you with Antalya's "boat".

Getting Excited For Halloween

2010-10-29T20:29:00.003+01:00

The Wheels on the Bus

2010-10-28T12:22:00.001+01:00

Antalya loves stopping at every bus stop we pass. It's always the same routine. She spots it from a hundreds yards away. Takes off running, shouting "train, train" (she confuses the train and the bus), climbs up onto the little bench and proceeds to wait. As soon as the bus comes, she hops down, says, "ya, train, ya, ok" and then tries to board the bus. At this point I always have to stop her and there are a few moments of tears and sadness until the bus pulls away, and then we continue on our way.

It's been awhile since my last attempt of taking the bus with the girls. That time wasn't pretty, but maybe now that everyone is six months older and wiser we could actually have a good time. Stay tuned, I'm going to plan a small bus excursion next week.

Fall Pics

2010-10-27T20:13:00.002+01:00

It's been a very long last few days. The sum of lots of small things has left me feeling completely exhausted and very homesick. So this afternoon, after we all took a much needed nap I decided we needed to bag the whole potty training thing (we haven't had much success the last 48 hours anyway), throw a diaper on Antalya and head out the door with the camera to take some fall pictures. We had a great time. I wish the fall season would last a bit longer. Hope you enjoy the pics!

2010-10-26T21:47:00.003+01:00

It's been a long night, followed by an equally long day. I'm gearing up for the chance that tonight will be another equally long night. So, that being said - it's late, I was planning on posting, but I must get to bed. So I'll leave you with this great article to read.

I'm Not a Saint, Just a Parent

Potty Time with a Little Baked Goodness!

2010-10-25T21:09:00.006+01:00

Today was a successful day! We had more success and accidents and Antalya seems very pleased with herself. In fact, when it was time for Victoria to go to sleep I asked Antalya if she was ready to take off her Elmo panties and put on a diaper and she said, "NO!" I hoping her enthusiasm sticks for awhile and by the end of the week we are still seeing some progress.

On a completely different note, I found this delicious recipe. I've been wanting to find some baked goodness that didn't require eggs for those times when I have the desire to bake, but forgot to buy eggs. So here it is:

Brownie Pudding Cake
3/4 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/3 cup plus 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 cup milk
3 tablespoons butter, melted
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 3/4 cups boiling water
powdered sugar, for serving

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 9 inch square baking dish or round souffle dish. Combine flour, granulated sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and 1/3 cup cocoa in medium bowl. Add milk, butter and vanilla, stir until just blended. Spoon the batter into the prepared dish.

Combine brown sugar and remaining 1/4 cup cocoa in small bowl. Sprinkle evenly over batter. Pour boiling water over entire mixture; do not stir.

Bake 35 to 38 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the top layer comes out clean. Cool at least 10 minutes. Sprinkle with powdered sugar before serving.

It turned out delicious - a gooey pudding layer on the bottom, topped with a delicious chocolate cake. Antalya doesn't like anything the consistency of pudding or yogurt so she took one bite, said, "yucky" and went off to play. Victoria on the other hand just about licked the bowl clean and threw a fit when I told her she couldn't have any more.

Speaking of Victoria, she is quite the little girl these days. It seems I rarely see her without at least one purse on her arm. She loves hats, necklaces, shoes, putting on make-up, and cuddling her doll when she goes to sleep. What a cutie!

Potty Training: Attempt 3: Day 1

2010-10-24T20:14:00.001+01:00

Well, it's been just over a year since I posted this about our potty training attempts. I'd like to say that during this past year Antalya has mastered the idea of using the toilet, but that's not quite the case. In fact, shortly after our first attempt a year ago to get out of diapers, I admitted it wasn't time yet and we gave it a rest.

Six months later we gave it another try, but after four accidents in less than an hour on the first day, I decided that regardless of whether or not Antalya was ready, I was not ready! So I dropped it again.

Now, another six months have passed and I've decided it's time to give it my best shot. Antalya is off school all week, and except for a speech assessment and a birthday party we have absolutely no where to go and nothing better to do than stay home and watch movies, play with toys, sit on potties, and eat potty treats. So that's what we are going to do. One full week of all waking hours being diaper free hours. And at the end of the week, depending on how far we get I will decide to either continue (her teachers at school are very supportive and will help me on that end), or I'll put the potty training on hold again - probably until I Victoria is ready and I can do them both at the same time.

So how did today go? Not too bad. Five accidents, followed by one success! I think we are off to a good start :)

What Puts a Smile on My Face

2010-10-23T20:44:00.002+01:00

We've had a very long night followed by an equally long day. The girls and I are all sick. But despite how awful we are all feeling, Antalya (like always) has managed to keep a smile on my face. Here's just a few of the reasons why I think she is one of the cutest little kids on the planet.

Antalya loves to talk to herself. The times when she most enjoys it are when she finds herself in front of a mirror, and when she is falling asleep. Last night at 4 am, after tossing and turning all night and finally throwing up, I was holding her trying to help her fall back asleep. When she started talking to herself. It went like this:

"u-wite? u-wite?" (You alright? You alright?), "Ya. Ya, ok." Then she proceeded to count to ten twice, then was happy to fall back asleep.

Later in the day, she was playing with Victoria. Normally she always refers to Victoria as "baby". But yesterday when saying, "baby, baby" didn't work to get Victoria's attention she tried slowly and precisely to pronunciate "TriTri" (the nickname we have for Victoria). It came out sounding just like "Sushi! Sushi!"

Antalya LOVES to dance - even if there is no music to dance to. Here's a little video she took of herself (and, yes, she is a complete computer whiz - she pulled up this application from the hard drive memory, found the effect she wanted, and hit record).

Book Time

2010-10-22T13:14:00.001+01:00

Autumn Walk

2010-10-21T20:58:00.006+01:00

The weather has suddenly turned from a bit chilly, to downright cold just within the last few days. Last night we had our first freeze. Which made today's scheduled autumn walk with Antalya's class a very cold walk. The children were all bundled up as much as could be, but it was still COLD! But despite the cold, Victoria had a great time (she kept pace right along with the 3 and 4 yr olds, never tiring once), and Antalya enjoyed it all except the walk back. By then she was just too cold and too tired. But with lots of encouragement, coaxing, bribing, and pleading she made it back to school all on her own two feet. I was so proud of her. I think it was the longest she has ever walked at one time. Here's some pictures I snapped with my phone during our outing.

After a nice long nap for all of us I thought it would be fun to visit an indoor playplace that we haven't been to yet. Places like these are all over London and very popular during the cold, wet winter months when no one wants to be at the playground. I don't think there are very many equivalents in the states. This particular one was three levels high. They always include ball pits, lots of slides, mazes, and obstacles - all constructed of soft material, and surrounded by netting so the kids can tumble around all they want without getting hurt.

This is the view from the top level looking down.

Here's the girls having fun:

School Time

2010-10-20T10:06:00.002+01:00

I always thought I would be a homeschooling mother. And then came Antalya. It's not that I don't love being with her or feel like I'm not up to the task. It's simply that, for whatever reason, Antalya is much more willing to be taught if I'm not around. When it's me and her, she insists on doing everything herself. Although I love this independent spirit she has, it also means, that she won't listen to a word I say, and definitely won't sit and watch while I demonstrate how something should be done.

That's why when I found out that nursery schools here in England start children five days a week at age three, I jumped for joy! We were fortunate to move into an area that has one of the best schools in the country, and one that has seen lots of children with Down syndrome. They have been amazing in helping Antalya fit right in with her normal developing peers and learn so many things that I just couldn't teach her at home.

I just returned from dropping Jason off at the tube station that is right next to Antalya's school. As I passed I was surprised to see Antalya's aid standing outside watching the cars pass. As I looked again I noticed a little hand holding hers and a little blond haired girl wearing her familiar pink jacket and boots. As I passed again, after dropping Jason off, The duo, along with another teacher and two other children were walking hand in hand towards the local cafe.

It's experiences like this that make me so happy we are here in England where Antalya is getting such a good start to her education. I don't know of any other preschool in the states that takes field trips with just three kids at a time to a local cafe to practice ordering food, proper etiquette, and paying for the food when all done.

I wish I had a picture to go along with this post of some of the things she is doing at school. But hopefully tomorrow I will have some good ones. I'm volunteering to help out on their annual autumn nature walk. It should be a great time.

Differences

2010-10-19T09:17:00.000+01:00

My two little munchkins are as different as night and day. But being different has nothing to do with the fact that one has Down syndrome and one does not. They are different because one has blue eyes, curly hair, looks like her grandpa, loves to dance, prefers toasts, and gags at the sight of yogurt, while the other has brown eyes, straight hair, looks like her dad, loves dogs, prefers yogurt, and won't touch toast. But despite their differences there is a magical bond between these two.

Mothers

2010-10-18T12:43:00.002+01:00

When we found out Antalya had Down syndrome I felt like my whole world had suddenly changed and that my life would never be the same from that moment on. In many respects, that's true. My world did change. I became more aware of people with different abilities. I saw them everywhere I went. And every time I would meet someone with different abilities I would think of their mother and how much love she must feel for them.

And life most definitely hasn't been the same from that moment on. But that's not all to do with Down syndrome. You see, in that moment, when I found out that my unborn child would enter the world not only with health problems, but also with a life-long disability, I suddenly became a mother. Although I had been carrying my child inside me for nearly 8 months, I had never felt connected to her, until that moment. Suddenly she was all I could think about. I wondered what she would look like, what things she would enjoy doing, what parts of me did she inherit, what parts of her dad did she inherit. I prayed constantly for her - that she would be strong enough to survive the birth, the surgery, the recovery. I prayed that I would be strong enough to be her mommy, that I would love her for who she was, and that I could help her be all she could be.

Down syndrome seemed like such a huge part of my world for a long time. In fact, it's just recently that I have noticed a change in my thoughts. I no longer think about Down syndrome, and the implications the extra chromosome will have in Antalya's life. I no longer feel separated from other moms who only have typically developing children.

I don't know why it has taken my nearly four years to realize that being a mom to any child regardless of their abilities, or disabilities, is just like being a mom! We're all in the same boat. We all have moments where we feel like our heart is so full of love it might burst, and moments when we feel like we are going to loose it, moments of pure joy, and moments where we wish we could have just five minutes all to ourselves. But that's just part of the incredibly fulfilling, exhausting, trying, rewarding job title that we as mothers hold.

Hello?

2010-10-17T18:55:00.002+01:00

Antalya may only be four, but she talks on the phone like a teenager. Several times a week she will ask me to call "papa" or "mama". I dial it for her, then she takes the phone and away she runs. She doesn't like me participating in the conversation at all, so she always leaves the room and seeks out some private area to have her conversations. Yesterday after she had been gone for 15 minutes I went to see what she was doing and this is what I found.

I Have a Voice

2010-10-16T14:30:00.001+01:00

See and Learn

2010-10-15T14:19:00.001+01:00

I have recently found a speech therapy group that is just what I have been hoping to find. It is a group of kids who all have Down syndrome. This is great news because when it comes to speech, children with Down syndrome all seem to need help in the same area - strengthening their oral muscles, and teaching their mouth to move correctly to make the necessary sounds to be understood. This is something that most the population takes for granted. I know I did until I have watched as Antalya has struggled for years to try and pronounce an "L" sound.

But along with their weaknesses they also some similar strengths - one of which is that they are very visual learners. The Down Syndrome Education International has developed the See and Learn program that taps into our children's visual learning style. It's aim is to improve speech through learning to read.

The DownsEd group is based out of the England and I have been hoping to have the opportunity to learn more about, and see in practice, how the program works. Well, the speech group we joined a month ago uses parts of the See and Learn program. And I can't tell you how excited about it I am! You can download and print most of the info from their website. I'm working on making a copy for us at home, and one to send to school with her. I'm hoping that if we are working on the same things at speech, at home, and reinforced a couple times at school that we will see some big improvements in the next few months. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

While I'm on the topic of speech, tonight in the bath tub Antalya said to Victoria, "Baby, sit down. Baby, be quiet." It was the first time I have ever heard her say those phrases. I was all grins!

And now, because I know everyone loves pictures, I'll leave you with this one of my cuties from a week ago. The sun was shining, it was warm, and we ending up tromping through a mud pile. So, what else could we do, but take off sock and shoes and enjoy a popsicle!

One More Birthday Post

2010-10-14T19:45:00.008+01:00

Antalya's birthday has now come and gone. As we were walking home from school yesterday she stopped me and said, "Mommy, one more birthday!" It was so sweet - so we came home and I put candles in what remained of the Elmo cake and sang happy birthday to her again. She loved it!

So here's how my little Antalya's special day went.

She was very surprised and happy to find the play kitchen waiting for her when she woke up. She kept saying, "yeah. yeah. yeah." as she walked around checking it out. Once Victoria woke up they set to it cooking up some food.

Then it was off to school where all her teachers greeted her with "Happy Birthday" and Antalya couldn't wipe the grin off her face. It was an extra treat for me to be able to join her class for singing time. When class ended Antalya handed out raisins to all the children as they one by one came up and said "Happy Birthday Antalya". She was so cute - insisting that she give the child the box of raisins instead of them helping themselves to one out of the bowl.

Lunch consisted of her favorite - "cheesemeatmunch" which translated into a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Then the girls went down for a nap as I furiously tried to recreate Elmo in frosting form before they woke up.
Our afternoon was filled with lots of cuddling, a trip to the store, and playing in the autumn leaves outside.

Then came the pizza, the candle blowing, and the cake eating.

And then before I knew it, the day had ended and I was tucking in the cutest, happiest, little 4 year old I have ever seen.

Birthday Celebrations

2010-10-13T08:05:00.001+01:00

Antalya had a wonderful birthday. More to come, but for now, here are a couple videos. The first one is when all her classmates sang Happy Birthday to her, and then second is at home with her Elmo birthday cake.