Look How I'm Growing!

Mommy keeps telling me that I'm going to be a big sister soon, and that being a big sister is going to take a lot of work. So we have been practicing new skills now so I'm ready when the baby comes. Sometimes it's really hard and I want to go back to being the baby and not listen to anything Mommy says, but usually I try really hard to act like a big girl. 

My favorite thing about being a big girl is that I get to go to school by myself. Mommy doesn't stay with me anymore. She walks to me class, I blow her a kiss, and then I get to play for an entire hour with just my teachers and friends. I love it! 

Here are some of the other big girl things I have been working on:

Letting Mommy comb my hair. I've always hated it, but I'm learning that if I just let her do it, it makes her a lot happier (not to mention all the comments I get from other people!).

Waiting patiently while Mommy fixes my food. Sometimes Mommy says the food is cooking, that means I have to be patient for a long time.

I'm also learning how to help out in the kitchen. I'm really good at cheese and toppings on pizza (which just happens to be my favorite food).

Experiencing new things. I've also learned that there is a reason Mommy puts those funny things on my hands. When I don't wear them my hands get so cold.

Walking places instead of being carried everywhere. This is my favorite! Most of the time Mommy makes me hold her hand. I don't like to hold her hand - I like to be independent, but I'm trying really hard to get used to it. I think it is worth it because it is so much more fun walking than being stuck in a stroller or in Mommy's arms.

Just being cute! (and trying not to complain so much when I'm stuck in my car-seat).

No More Excuses - Challenge #1

Back in September I ran my first marathon. I had never considered myself a runner, and even up until the day before the race insisted that I was not a runner, but was only doing it to accomplish a goal. Once I crossed the finished line I planned to take a long break from running.

Somehow crossing the finish line that day and the weeks and months that have followed have convinced me otherwise. Every time I see someone out running I feel an urge to stop my car and start running. I have missed hitting the open pavement more than I ever would've guessed. Yet even with the overwhelming feeling I have had to hit the pavement and start running again I had been out once since the marathon months ago. You might be asking "Why? If you love running so much why don't you go out and do it?"

Remember in my last post how I regretfully admitted my enhanced ability at excuse making? Yeah, I have a list a mile long of silly reasons why I don't get out and run. Most of my excuses have been that's it's cold, it's icy, I'm pregnant, the mornings are so dark, it's so hard to get out of my warm bed, did I mention it's COLD!!!

Well, with my determination to stop making excuses for myself I knew I would have to find a way to start running again. I've found a way to make it work! The university has an indoor track a mile from my home that is free to the public in the mornings. I have committed to getting up extra early three mornings a week and hitting the track. I'm so excited!

For the first time in quite awhile I feel like I am taking the initiative in my life to make some changes I have been wanting to make. It feels so good to know I am starting to progress in a direction rather than being stagnant. If you've been feeling stuck in a rut, go tackle one of the small things on your list - you'll feel so good for doing it!

Why Not Today?

This year instead of setting any goals on paper I have thought long and hard about what the most important thing for me to be working on right now in my life. It wasn't hard to know where I need to change the most. I make a lot of excuses. Excuses for everything in my life. It's a practice I have perfected over many years but was not aware of until I met my husband and he kindly pointed it out.

Some of examples of recent excuses (without revealing too many of my flaws) include:
I can't teach Antalya proper manners and behavior because her language skills are not good enough to understand me.
I can't take dinner to so-and-so who could really use it because they probably wouldn't like what I cooked.
It's alright if I loose my patience with my husband - after all I'm pregnant, tired, and sick.
I would read my scriptures, but it is so late and I'm so tired that I wouldn't get anything out of it anyways.

I could go on-and-on. But my point is it's become so easy for me to rationalize my behavior because "after-all it's not my fault or it is out of my control." And I've noticed that being pregnant has only magnified this tendency of mine. I'm tired of making excuses.

I've decided it is time for a change - but a real change, not just a change for a week until I forget my New Year's resolution. So instead of making a detailed list of all the things I want to have changed by the end of the year I have simplified it and decided that "Today I will do better!" Every morning I wake up with the goal to be kind and patient all day long and not let myself make excuses. I've noticed that some days I go to bed feeling like I didn't do very good, but that only helps motivate me to do better the next day. I'm hoping that after so many days of reminding myself that soon I will have changed my nature and won't need the daily reminders - I will have become the optimistic, kind, patient person I so long to be.

Wish me luck for today!

Too Cute Not To Record

As I pulled up to church this morning I was reminded of one of the cute things Antalya did last Sunday at church. I meant to post it then, but just didn't have the time. 

Jason is part of the bishopric in our ward or congregation which means on Sundays he sits up on the stand facing the congregation where Antalya and I sit. After the singing of hymns, prayer, partaking of the sacrament, and hearing different members of the ward speak on doctrine and the scriptures, we usually have a musical number. This could mean someone plays a piano solo, or someone sings a hymn, or the choir sings. Last Sunday it happened to be an amazingly beautiful piano/organ duet.

I have mentioned before Antalya's love of music. Sometimes I think that is an understatement. When she hears something she likes - it truly moves her. This particular piece of music was just such a song (I was so caught up watching Antalya that I don't even remember what song it was that was played). 

As soon as the music started and Antalya started to feel it she stood up on the pew and started frantically signing "daddy" while saying "da-da-da-da". We were sitting towards the back so Jason couldn't hear her, but she continued until his eyes met hers. As soon as she was sure he was watching she started her dancing moves. This involves playing a pretend piano way above her head - her little fingers flying through the sky as they pound on the imaginary keyboard, another favorite move of hers is to franticly move one arm as if she is conducting a symphony; and she does all this while sticking her cute little bum out and moving it around. It was all I could do to contain my laughter. 

It is customary in our church that after such a musical number there is no applause. The music is not considered a performance - but rather a part of the worship service and so keeping with the spirit of the meeting there is no applause. Of course a two year old doesn't understand that, so once the song ended Antalya began very enthusiastically applauding while exclaiming "Yay!"

It was rather cute. Luckily everyone on our pew and the row behind successfully kept our laughter to ourselves. 

I love my little angel. I can't imagine our family without her sweet spirit. I feel so blessed for each day I am given to spend with her. 

Christmas Pics

We had a wonderful Christmas this year. Here some pictures of the fun.
Antalya played an angel in our family Nativity. She looked like the most beautiful angel on earth.
Gramma and Grampa gave her this cute little piano. Boy, does she love it! For those of you don't know her - she is quite the music lover. She insists on music being played all day long in our house and whenever we are in the car. She loves to dance to her favorite songs, and refuses to listen to anything that doesn't have a good dancing beat.

Thanks Gramma and Grampa! She loves her piano and pounds away like crazy on those little keys.
One of the highlights of my Christmas this year was seeing my 94 year old grandpa. Growing up he was always at our house for Christmas Eve dinner. It didn't feel like Christmas until him and my grandma walked in the door. It has been several years since he has been with us on Christmas Eve. Thanks Mom and Dad for making the effort to have him with us.
Christmas morning opening presents.
Antalya was very pleased with what she found when she tore the wrapping paper off. It was her favorite toy - the Fisher Price Learning Piggy Bank. Her speech therapist loaned us this toy a year ago. It was so difficult to part with that we ended up keeping it for a full six months. But finally the time came to return it, and we have been missing it ever since. I must add that I am not a Fisher Price fan - but with this one toy they sure did something right.  I wouldn't change a thing about it - and it is so great for developing fine motor skills.

A few years ago Jason and I started a tradition of going hiking or snowshoeing on Christmas morning. So this year after breakfast and gifts we headed up the canyon to enjoy the falling snow. Antalya loves being outside - even it means cold weather.

It's Official!

I've been feeling pretty run-down and nauseated, so yesterday I went to the doctor and they heard a little galloping heartbeat in my belly. Antalya is going to be a big sister the first week of July! We are so excited!

The Santa Dilemma

A couple years ago Jason and I decided that once we had kids we wanted to skip the whole "Santa" thing. But now that we have Antalya and she is getting older I have spent many hours pondering the "how to implement" part of our decision. I know it will be no easy task. From my adult mind it makes perfect sense, but that is because I can understand abstract thoughts - such as Santa isn't real, but what he stands for is; and understanding that Santa is really a symbol of Christ used to help us feel the magic of the season.

How do you explain all that to a child? And how do you explain when you see Santa everywhere. Do we take our children to see Santa? Do we avoid him? What about when people ask our children what they asked Santa for? How can we teach them to answer that questions without feeling like they are missing out on something.

The only real conclusion I have come to is that we need to create in our family a sense that there are many "Santas" - an understanding that "Santa" is someone who goes around doing good for other people. Teach our children that we are "Santa" for someone else and that "Santa" doesn't come to our house because we have what we need, and therefore we have been asked to be "Santa" for another family.

Anyone have any thoughts on the subject? Is there anyone else out there that has attempted to change the image of "Santa" in their family?

Yes! We Are Alive!

Here's a quick update:

Antalya - has never been happier! It took a full 10 days, but then she suddenly turned a corner and doing great. Did I mention she is sleeping through the night and taking 2-3 hour naps? Yes, I am in momma's heaven!

Sunny - as soon as Antalya starting getting better, I got sick. I'm doing better now and for the first time in several months I feel like I am caught up on my sleep and waking up feeling rested.

Jason - has been busy, busy, busy with work. And since he works from home, I try to help out whenever I can - which translates into both us of being busy, busy, busy!

We're off quarantine - Yeah! We're back to a full schedule of EI toddler class on Tuesday, singing time at the library on Wednesday and Thursday, and we just started a Kindermusic class on Fridays. Plus we have had lots of family get togethers - and of course lots of trips to Costco at lunch time (that's when they have the most samples - Antalya loves it!)

Kitchen remodel - is almost done! I realize we started this about six months ago, we've just been taking our time. I am hopeful that by Christmas I will have a kitchen full of cabinets. I am super excited to have a place to put our dishes and food!

Thanksgiving - we got to spend the whole weekend with all Jason's family - yep, all 11 of the siblings were in town. It has been a couple years since we have seen them all. We had a lot of fun! We even went ice skating. Skating on the ice made me feel more young and free than I have in a long time. I think it is an activity I need to take up on a regular basis.

Good news - sorry, you are going to have to wait a couple weeks to hear the good news, but trust me - it's good!

I'll leave you with a picture of Jason with his parents and all his siblings. I think I got the best looking one of the bunch :)

Quick Update

It has been a very long week! I knew recovery from surgery wouldn't be fun, but part of me thought Antalya would just [;sail right through it and after a couple days would back to her normal self. 

I was wrong.

I must admit I have never had such an exhausting week - thus the lack of updates. In the last nine days I have one night without any sleep, two nights with only 2-3 hours of sleep, and several nights of waking up every hour. Last night was the best night so far - hopefully we are onto something new. 

Poor little Antalya has tried really hard to be a good sport, but when it comes right down to it, she has felt pretty miserable. Getting any amount of food or drink in her as been a huge task. and ohh, the pain medicine - it is a love/hate thing we have going on with her medicine. Nearly every four hours around the clock Antalya starts fussing more which means it is time for more pain medicine. This is no pleasant task. She refuses to take it, which means we have to literally pin her down on the floor, squirt medicine in her mouth, and then force her to swallow. This of course leads to a huge kicking, hitting, scratching tantrum for the next 10 minutes, until she finally collapses with relief from her pain. 

Having said all this, I do think today will be the change I have been waiting for. Antalya went 6 hours with no medicine this morning and woke up with more of an appetite than I have seen since before the surgery. Here's to better days coming!

PS Jason has truly been my lifesaver through all this. Several times he has taken Antalya and disappeared for several hours so that I could get some sleep. Thanks, babe! I could not have survive without you.

Tagged Again

Micah tagged me awhile ago. So here it is:

1.Where did you meet your husband?
A little Middle Eastern cafe near campus - it was a blind date.

2.How long did you date before you got married?
We were married exactly three months and three days from the day we met (I know - a little crazy! I can't believe my parents let me do it)

3. How long have you been married?
It will be four years next month.

4. What does he do that surprises you?
Gets up with Antalya in the morning when he knows I have had a really rough night.

5. What is your favorite feature of his?
His hands. I know this is weird, but I always new that when I met my husband I would recognize his hands. In my dating days I even broke up with a few guys because I didn't like their hands (I didn't tell them that, of course).

6. What is his best quality?
He is incredibly forgiving and always willing and happy to help anyone out.

7. Does he have a nickname for you?
Not much of a nickname - just Sun (it does cause weird looks sometimes when people think he is calling me his son).

8. What is his favorite food?
Anything really, but he does really enjoy good Indian and Italian food.

9. What is his favorite sport?
College Football

10. When and where did you first kiss?
It was on our third date outside my parents house next to his car as we were saying goodnight.

11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple?
Anything that is just the two of us - go to a movie, go to a bookstore, get ice cream, watch TV, go to a good Indian restaurant.

12. Do you have any children?
Yep, our beautiful Antalya

13. Does he have any hidden talents?
He is really good at playing the didgeridoo. It's actually pretty amazing to watch.

14. How old is he?
27 - I keep thinking he is going to catch up to me, but I seem to be getting older faster than he is :)

15. Who said 'I love you' first?
I did, but he said it right back.

16. What is his favorite music?
A little bit of everything - but mostly alternative or world music.

17. What do you admire most about him?
He is incredible patient with me, Antalya, and life in general. He takes things as they come and always makes the best of it. He dreams big and always see things in such a positive light (I really need that since I am such a pessimist most of the time and always put limitations on myself).

18. What is his favorite color?
?

19. Will he read this?
Most likely, no.

I love you, babe!