Roadmap to Holland

Well, there has been lots on my mind this weekend, and lots I have wanted to write an update about. So quickly here's what has been going on:

• Antalya got her first bee sting. We're glad to know she isn't allergic. Did you know children with Ds have a very high pain tolerance level? We heard that from a doctor when she was born. This weekend has reminded me of that. She cried for about 2 seconds when the bee stung her, and actually I think the crying was just because I scared her when I flicked the bee of her leg. 

• Surgery is scheduled for October 20th. Hopefully we can get Antalya healthy and then keep her healthy until then. 
  

• Cricket is having her puppies any day now. Luckily we found a family in our area that was thrilled with the idea of helping her give birth, and then caring for her and the puppies during the 8 week whelping period. In exchange they just want a puppy. Thanks Gina and family. 
  

• We said goodbye to some good friends this weekend. Tara and OJ have left for Hong Kong where they will be living for the next few years. We will miss you guys!
  

Now on a completely different topic, I finally got a book I have been wanting to read for several months. It is called Road Map to Holland by Jennifer Graf Groneberg. It is about her journey with her son who was born with Down syndrome. 

I sat down to begin it this afternoon and found myself in tears as I recalled all the emotions of receiving Antalya's diagnosis. It will be two years ago next week that we received the news that our soon-to-be-born daughter had Down syndrome. The next few weeks were an incredibly intense, emotional roller coaster. It was so all consuming that we found we could think of little else. What did this diagnosis mean? What were the rest of our lives going to be like? How would we care for such a child? Would we love her as fully as we wanted to? How would we handle everything going on around us? It was all so surreal. 

Yet now, two years down this road, and it takes reading someone else's experience to even recall such emotions and thoughts. It is difficult to imagine a time when Antalya wasn't part of us, when we weren't completely and absolutely in love with everything about her, a time when the words Down syndrome weren't in my vocabulary. All of the fear and anxiety one feels at the beginning is so quickly replaced with so much love and awe that they have been entrusted with such a sweet spirit. 

Tonight I am reminded of what a blessing Antalya is in my life. She is my sunshine, and I would want her no other way than how she is.