Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Quick Update

It has been a very long week! I knew recovery from surgery wouldn't be fun, but part of me thought Antalya would just [;sail right through it and after a couple days would back to her normal self. 

I was wrong.

I must admit I have never had such an exhausting week - thus the lack of updates. In the last nine days I have one night without any sleep, two nights with only 2-3 hours of sleep, and several nights of waking up every hour. Last night was the best night so far - hopefully we are onto something new. 

Poor little Antalya has tried really hard to be a good sport, but when it comes right down to it, she has felt pretty miserable. Getting any amount of food or drink in her as been a huge task. and ohh, the pain medicine - it is a love/hate thing we have going on with her medicine. Nearly every four hours around the clock Antalya starts fussing more which means it is time for more pain medicine. This is no pleasant task. She refuses to take it, which means we have to literally pin her down on the floor, squirt medicine in her mouth, and then force her to swallow. This of course leads to a huge kicking, hitting, scratching tantrum for the next 10 minutes, until she finally collapses with relief from her pain. 

Having said all this, I do think today will be the change I have been waiting for. Antalya went 6 hours with no medicine this morning and woke up with more of an appetite than I have seen since before the surgery. Here's to better days coming!

PS Jason has truly been my lifesaver through all this. Several times he has taken Antalya and disappeared for several hours so that I could get some sleep. Thanks, babe! I could not have survive without you.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Tagged Again

Micah tagged me awhile ago. So here it is:
1.Where did you meet your husband?
A little Middle Eastern cafe near campus - it was a blind date.

2.How long did you date before you got married?
We were married exactly three months and three days from the day we met (I know - a little crazy! I can't believe my parents let me do it)

3. How long have you been married?
It will be four years next month.

4. What does he do that surprises you?
Gets up with Antalya in the morning when he knows I have had a really rough night.

5. What is your favorite feature of his?
His hands. I know this is weird, but I always new that when I met my husband I would recognize his hands. In my dating days I even broke up with a few guys because I didn't like their hands (I didn't tell them that, of course).

6. What is his best quality?
He is incredibly forgiving and always willing and happy to help anyone out.

7. Does he have a nickname for you?
Not much of a nickname - just Sun (it does cause weird looks sometimes when people think he is calling me his son).

8. What is his favorite food?
Anything really, but he does really enjoy good Indian and Italian food.

9. What is his favorite sport?
College Football

10. When and where did you first kiss?
It was on our third date outside my parents house next to his car as we were saying goodnight.

11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple?
Anything that is just the two of us - go to a movie, go to a bookstore, get ice cream, watch TV, go to a good Indian restaurant.

12. Do you have any children?
Yep, our beautiful Antalya

13. Does he have any hidden talents?
He is really good at playing the didgeridoo. It's actually pretty amazing to watch.

14. How old is he?
27 - I keep thinking he is going to catch up to me, but I seem to be getting older faster than he is :)

15. Who said 'I love you' first?
I did, but he said it right back.

16. What is his favorite music?
A little bit of everything - but mostly alternative or world music.

17. What do you admire most about him?
He is incredible patient with me, Antalya, and life in general. He takes things as they come and always makes the best of it. He dreams big and always see things in such a positive light (I really need that since I am such a pessimist most of the time and always put limitations on myself).

18. What is his favorite color?

19. Will he read this?
Most likely, no.

I love you, babe!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Surgery went great! Recovery has been really rough on my little angel, but tonight before bed she seemed to turn a corner. We are so grateful that there were no complications, and that we are on the mend. 

We had to spend the night in the hospital. Antalya and I both crowded on a hospital bed. Between beeping monitors, a not very dark room, not enough room for both of us, and a constant fear that I would fall asleep and Antalya would fall between the side rails and land on the floor - neither of us got much sleep. In fact, we ended up watching a continuous loop of Signing Time - I watched the same 30 minute DVD for 14 hours straight.

We were out of bed, dressed, all packed with Antalya in the stroller when the person with the power to discharge us arrived at 6am (I wasn't any chances with him taking his time letting us go). By 6:30am we were stopping by the pharmacy, and then on the road back home. We made it home before Jason was even done with his morning shower.

Here are some pictures of our day yesterday.

Playing with toys while we wait to get checked-in
Waiting to meet the nurse practitioner 
Our final wait - right before the anesthesiologist came and took her away
This is the face I saw most of yesterday and today (I did see some smiles tonight)

Friday, November 14, 2008

Woo Hoo! We've Almost Made It!

Surgery is Monday! We check in at 9:15am and have surgery scheduled for 11:00. I am so anxious to get this over and done. You can bet I will be praying hard all weekend that no sudden illnesses hit our house, and I'll be doing my part by staying home all weekend.

Here's some pictures of what's been going on this week.

Talking on the phone
Dancing on the table
Sporting new Fuzzi Bunz diapers
Playing in drawers
Playing with toys
Sheet-rocking the kitchen
(yes, we are STILL working on the kitchen, but we are getting closer)

Saturday, November 8, 2008

2 Years Ago Today...

we brought Antalya home for the first time. It was such an exciting day. I was so happy to finally be leaving the hospital after being there for nearly a month, but I was very nervous about caring for my new little baby without the help of nurses. How grateful I am that she has joined our family. Becoming a mother has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I love my little girl so much!
Leaving the NICU

Our First Picture At Home

Me and My Little Angel

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Sleeping Like a Baby

When we brought Antalya home from the hospital after she was born we couldn't understand why so many people had told us to expect very little sleep. She slept 'just like a baby' all through the night. In fact, she slept so well, that it would take both Jason and i to wake her up enough for her feedings. This lasted for five wonderful months. In fact I got so much more sleep during those five months than I did that at any point during my pregnancy.

But once Antalya hit five months, she suddenly woke up and wanted to be fed and rocked several times a night. For awhile I was getting up four or more times with her. We didn't know what started this, but felt like there must be a reason she was getting so hungry and waking up so much, so we did our best to control the amount of wake-ups, but for the most part didn't concern ourselves with it too much until she was a year old.

With lots of work, tears, and prayers Antalya started sleeping through the night again at about 13 months (or sleeping through the night more nights than not). We were finally getting some rest again!

This last year we have had to work through several 'episode periods' of waking up during the night, but have mostly kept it under control. That was until two months ago when it all changed.

Suddenly, Antalya would wake up screaming and unwilling to be consoled, or she wake up terrified and wrap her little arms around me my neck as tight as she could and refuse to let go. Or sometimes she would wake up as if she had just slept the entire night and just want to play. I felt like I needed to just be patient with her, especially since I didn't understand why she was waking up. I knew she had started snoring louder than usual and was a little concerned that the cause of all the wakings was her struggle to breathe. Every night was a sort of guessing game as to how much sleep we would get. These two months have been so long!

The last couple weeks I have been lying down with her or bringing her into our bed in an attempt to get some more sleep. While she is laying next to me I listen to her breathing (remember back in June when we scheduled a sleep study because we were concerned with Sleep Apnea, but Antalya got so terrified with all the wires they were putting on her that we had to cancel). So I listen closing and have found that she takes 3-5 seconds breaks in her breathing often. Sometimes there is only 2 or 3 breathes that separate the pauses. It's been like that for awhile now, until last night when it got so much worse - more to come in a minute.

Anyways, I feel like now I know why she has been sleeping so poorly. I don't know why her breathing has all of a sudden gotten so much worse. But I am grateful that our surgery date is coming soon (only 12 days away). The surgery is supposed to help open up her airways and make it easier to breathe at night. Please pray that it will do just that and our little girl can get some much needed sleep. And please pray that we won't have to reschedule surgery again.

And now, for those interested here is a summary of our night last night (it's not pretty). I wish I could say last night wasn't the norm, but it is becoming more and more the norm.

8:00 Antalya is in bed sleeping soundly
11:00 Jason and I head to bed and find Antalya sitting up her bed screaming. I change her diaper. We take turns consoling her and getting ready for bed. All lay down together in our bed.
11:30 Antalya is starting to dose off - this is both good and bad. She only will sleep right next to me, but she isn't a 'still' sleeper. I get knocked in the head, and kicked in the stomach every few minutes.
12:00 Her breathing is getting bad. I lay there counting 8-10 second pauses in her breath. These happen about 3 times a minute. I start praying she will be alright. I don't know what else to do.
12:30 I'm still awake counting her breathes and getting worried.
2:00 I wake up - at some point I must have dosed off. Antalya is stretched out sideways on our bed sound asleep. I realize I won't get any sleep like this, so I gently pick her up and place her in her bed.
2:30 Antalya wakes up screaming! Louder than the first time. I get her a drink, check her diaper, lay her down and start singing a song. She gets hysterical, wants me to pick her up. I am too tired and need to get some sleep so I tell her goodnight, grab my pillow and head to the couch.
4:00 I wake up, Antalya isn't crying anymore so I head back to bed.
5:30 Antalya wakes up again. I decide to lay down on our monster beanbag with her. This means she will fall right back asleep and sleep soundly for another hour (something that wouldn't happen if we lay down in the bed), but it also means that I won't get any more sleep. The bean bag is so uncomfortable - after a few minutes my back hurts, my shoulder is going to sleep (because of Antalya laying on top of me), and my feet are cold.
6:45 Antalya wakes up and we start our day with me wondering why I even hoped to get any sleep last night.

Maybe tonight will be better, but if not, there is still hope that in a week and a half all this will change with her new and improved airways.

Grandma Delsa, Hope for the Future, Going Green

My grandma Delsa passed away last Friday. She was actually my step-grandma, but that didn't matter - to me she was always my grandma. I remember spending Christmas Eve with her and my grandpa, summer lemonade in her front yard, birthday gifts, the way she always looked so beautiful, the candy jar in their home, and how excited she would get when we went to visit. 

The last ten years or so have been difficult for everyone as my grandpa and her have needed to move into a facility that offered more care. They both have dementia. With this, and my getting older and more observant, I came to realize the extreme negative feelings of her children in regards to my grandpa and my family. These feelings have led them to some pretty extreme actions - including legal battles with my mom, and fighting to keep my grandma in a different facility from her husband (this was taken so far as to suddenly move her across town one day without notifying anyone - imagine the distress my grandpa felt when suddenly his wife was gone and no one could tell him where she was or if she was coming back). 

Despite all this, she was still my grandma and I was looking forward to attending her funeral this week and remembering her life. Alas, it is not to be. Our family just found out that her family decided against having any sort of funeral or memorial service for her. In fact, they have already buried her. How sad that her own children and grandchildren weren't willing to make a small sacrifice in order to honor her life and allow others who loved her the same opportunity.

On another note, did you listen to Senator Obama's speech tonight after the election? Wasn't it empowering? I feel so much hope for the future of this great country and am excited to be alive during such an exciting time in our history. 

I've made the decision to switch to cloth diapers. This is something I have been wanting to do since before Antalya was born. I am excited to finally be giving it a chance. I hope it is everything good that I think it will be. Tonight I ordered my first set of Fuzzi Bunz. They should be here in a few days. I'm sure you will be hearing more about it.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

And the Winner Is...

Brooke! Congratulations. You're bilibo is on it's way. Hope your boys enjoy it! I'm considering another giveaway before Christmas. I'll let you know what I decide.

Thanks to BeeAbleToys.com for this fun giveaway!


Tonight was Antalya's third Halloween. Yet as you can see from the pictures looking back at all three years, she really hasn't ever celebrated the holiday. Maybe next year we will have better luck. We thought about taking her out trick-or-treating tonight, but I have been sick all week and didn't have the energy to get her all dressed up in her costume, and I decided we didn't need any more candy hanging around the house. So we opted for a nice walk around the neighborhood to look at all the little kids who were trick-or-treating. We stopped to let Antalya play in a pile of leaves. She was in heaven. And really, when it comes down to it, who needs candy when you can play in leaves?

Halloween 2008

Halloween 2007 - Camping in a canyon outside Santiago, Chile

Halloween 2006 - NICU, Primary Children's Hospital

Get It Down; 31 for 21