I was a week past my due date, and with the move coming so quickly, I felt I had no choice but to succumb to my doctor's wishes of being induced. I was put on Pitocin with Antalya's labor and knew I didn't want to go through that again, but also accepted the fact that some things were just out of my control. So after several days of tears I reluctantly headed to the hospital after dinner on July 13th. I was scheduled to receive a drug that night to help soften my cervix and then start the Pitocin the next morning. And since my labor with Antalya was about 24 hours, we decided that everyone would get more sleep if I went by myself and Jason stayed home to be with Antalya - then the next morning Jason could drop Antalya off at Gramma's and come to hospital to be with me.
Well, my prayers were answered! Firstly, by the doctor on call that night that told me having an IV was completely up to me and he would not fight me over it - of course I chose no IV. And secondly, at 10:00 that night I started having regular contractions (the drug they gave me was only supposed to cause some cramping - not contractions). They weren't very strong, but they were consistent - every 7-10 minutes. I tried to call Jason only to discover that in the labor and delivery wing of the hospital there is absolutely no cell phone service, and he couldn't be reached by the phone in the room because his number is long distance. I got worried that I would need him there sooner than the morning and would have no way of contacting him. So after calling my mom, and having her call Jason for me we decided it would be best if Jason just came to hospital that night. Luckily, one of Antalya's older cousins was able to come over to sleep at the house so Antalya wouldn't have to be woken up. By 11:30pm Jason was at the hospital with me and we settled down to try to get as much sleep as possible, knowing the next day could be awfully long and tiring.
For the most part we were able to sleep through the night - just occasional visits from the nurse. At 6:30am the nurse came in to check on me and told me I was dilated to a 1 and that they would be starting the pitocin soon. After she left I got up to use the bathroom and then came back to bed hoping to sleep for another hour or so, but as soon as I laid back down the contractions started getting stronger. By 7:00am I knew going back to sleep was not going to be an options so I got out of bed and started timing my contractions again - they were coming every 3-4 minutes and were getting more and more intense. I sent Jason to go get some breakfast for the both of us, and by the time he got back I was having a hard time talking through the contractions. Against my better judgement, I ate some pancakes, which shortly thereafter came right back up - which I didn't mind at all - it was just another confirmation that I was really in labor. When the nurse came in about 8:30 to tell me the doctor was on her way to start the Pitocin, I begged to just have a little more time. So she agreed that we could go walk around for a half hour before the doctor came. At 9:00 the nurse found us in the hallway to tell us we needed to go back to the room so they could start the pitocin. I couldn't understand why they kept insisting when my contractions were every 2-3 minutes and it was taking all my concentration to make it through each one. I stood my ground and told her I wasn't ready yet and so the doctor would have to wait another 30 minutes. We continued pacing back and forth in the hallways. At 9:30 the doctor came to our room and tried very politely to explain that I could have contractions for a really long time before active labor even begins, and that if I wasn't dilated to at least 4 cm they were going to start the pitocin and I just needed accept that. I was having such a hard time making it through each contractions, with every contraction I was starting to shake and I felt so weak, that I couldn't believe anyone was telling me I wasn't in active labor yet. The doctor checked me and was surprised to find that I was already 6 cm. She broke my water and told me she would back in two hours to check on me.
When she left I told Jason there was no way I was doing this for another two hours. After she broke my water each contraction was progressively stronger than the one before. I couldn't believe it when just 30 minutes later I was telling Jason to go get the nurse because I was ready to push. That was at 10:00am. Shortly thereafter the doctor arrived and the nurse started getting every ready for Victoria's arrival. It felt like an eternity waiting for it all. I kept watching the clock wishing they would hurry up. At 10:07 they were finally all ready. The next half hour of pushing was the hardest. My body was so exhausted and I kept finding myself wanting to say "I can't do this" but at the same time, knowing full well that I had no choice, and I could and I would do it. At 10:37 a slimy, squirmy, wailing little body was handed to me. I had done it - and was holding the reward of all the hard work I had just gone through.
I know unmedicated childbirth isn't always possible, and doesn't appeal to a lot of people, but for me, it was truly an answer to prayers and can only hope the next birth goes as quickly and smoothly as this one did.
What's in a name - Victoria Roene:
Victoria comes from Victoria Falls in Africa. It is one the seven wonders of the world. To me, the falls represent beauty, strength, power, and majesty.
Roene was the name of my great-grandma on my mom's side. To me, her life represents a life of service, love, hard-work, charity and commitment to what you believe in. She was truly a disciple of Christ and was about as saintly as a person can become in this life. She had so much energy and enthusiasm for life. One of my favorite things about her was her five minute naps. She would go, go, go until she was exhausted, then sit down and immediately fall asleep, then wake up five minutes later refreshed and ready to keep on going.
I hope as my little girl grows that she will remember why we chose her name and that she will take on some of the traits we see in the breathtaking falls and her great-grandma Roene.