Saturday, January 10, 2009

Why Not Today?

This year instead of setting any goals on paper I have thought long and hard about what the most important thing for me to be working on right now in my life. It wasn't hard to know where I need to change the most. I make a lot of excuses. Excuses for everything in my life. It's a practice I have perfected over many years but was not aware of until I met my husband and he kindly pointed it out.

Some of examples of recent excuses (without revealing too many of my flaws) include:
I can't teach Antalya proper manners and behavior because her language skills are not good enough to understand me.
I can't take dinner to so-and-so who could really use it because they probably wouldn't like what I cooked.
It's alright if I loose my patience with my husband - after all I'm pregnant, tired, and sick.
I would read my scriptures, but it is so late and I'm so tired that I wouldn't get anything out of it anyways.

I could go on-and-on. But my point is it's become so easy for me to rationalize my behavior because "after-all it's not my fault or it is out of my control." And I've noticed that being pregnant has only magnified this tendency of mine. I'm tired of making excuses.

I've decided it is time for a change - but a real change, not just a change for a week until I forget my New Year's resolution. So instead of making a detailed list of all the things I want to have changed by the end of the year I have simplified it and decided that "Today I will do better!" Every morning I wake up with the goal to be kind and patient all day long and not let myself make excuses. I've noticed that some days I go to bed feeling like I didn't do very good, but that only helps motivate me to do better the next day. I'm hoping that after so many days of reminding myself that soon I will have changed my nature and won't need the daily reminders - I will have become the optimistic, kind, patient person I so long to be.

Wish me luck for today!


Becky & Joseph said...

I have the same goal, basically! Good luck to you today, tomorrow, and the rest of the year!

And for the record, although I know I never saw you every minute of the day and couldn't read your thoughts, but you've never seemed liked an excuse-maker to me, just a get-up-and-do-what-needs-to-be-done-er, if that makes you feel any better. :) But that's a worthy goal for every person on this planet and I'm sure you'll do great at it.

The Tandy Family said...

It's funny how one persons see's themself, and then to hear how somebody else see's them. I feel the same way, I always wake up wanting to be a better person. Patience is a big long word that is hard to come by, but striving to achieve it, makes it that much easier, right? I hope so, Good luck to all of us!!!!:)

Dehner Family said...

It was like reading my own thoughts and the excuses I say to myself. Maybe all us pregos think alike. I'm going to try and follow your example and do better each day. You're awesome!

hiatt family said...

That is a great way of setting goals. I will have to remind myself to just do it day by day.

Debbie said...

It was fun running into you the other day.

I find myself slipping into that same mentality every now and then. Good luck.

Bunsy said...

Oh Sunny, I wish you good luck and I know you'll make some dents on that stubborn impatience you've developed over the years. Not that I've noticed it at all. But I have the same problem although I don't hide it as well as you. Patience, that's the one quality I thought I had, and then I had kids. You're great! So what names are you thinking of for this new girl? Here's some more turkish names for you to think about: Konya, Edirne, Adana, Afyon, and my personal favorite Batman.

toni said...

I think we all could do a little better. Isn't that what this life is all about? You're not alone in your daily strife, lets just put it that way!

Laura said...

I know you can do it! You know I suffer from the same things, and with age, and time I'm getting better...far from perfect but better. I don't go to bed as often disappointed, I'll be praying for you!!!

Hope you are feeling well and over your sickness:)

mum2brady said...

That's a great idea! Good luck!!!