I'm an NPR (National Public Radio) junky. Or at least I was before I left the states. They have these great segments called "This I Believe". They are essays written by ordinary people and then read out loud over the air. I love listening to them because they are so honest and heartfelt. Every time I hear one I take a few moments to ponder what I would write if I were to write a "This I Believe" essay. Today the answer finally hit me.
There were those who thought I was out of mind moving to a one of the biggest cities in the world with a newborn baby and...um, well, how do you sum up my oldest daughter? Let's just say that is absolutely crucial to her survival for me to know exactly where and what she is doing every second of the day. I knew motherhood would be a full time job, but I never expected it to be so literally a full time job as it is with my daughter. But that's beside the point. So, some people thought I was crazy. I could agree with them that moving to, and living in London would not be the easiest undertaking.
I must admit I have my moments, and sometimes, entire days that I wish it were easier, or that I could drop by my mom's house for the afternoon to have a break, or call up a friend who understood and go for a walk. This morning was one of those LONG moments. It was all I could do to just hold it together and make it through the until lunch. I was wondering how I was going to survive the day (and the next, and the next...), and doubting why I wanted to come here in the first place. But then a miracle happened, and I was reminded why we moved here in the first place. I put the babe in her crib awake; five minutes later, and without a peep she was fast asleep. Next I told toddler it was time to take a nap. She laid down with me, and without a struggle fell right asleep (this a first in our household. Usually nap time is pretty ugly; the babe cries for an hour while I wrestle with the older one until she finally falls asleep, then I comfort the babe and get her to sleep just as the older one is waking up). I believe it wasn't happen chance that nap time happened as it did today. It was reminder that I am not alone, and that when I need it most, relief always comes.
You see, I believe there is a higher power guiding our lives. Many times we don't see it, won't admit it, or are so caught up in our own agenda that we refuse to follow it, but that doesn't deny the fact that it is there. I'd like to say I have always followed the promptings I have received, but that would be a lie. But one thing is for sure. That higher power is what has led us to London. For reasons other than what I know, this is where our little family is supposed to be for now. And when I have days where I feel completely alone, I am always sent a reminder that I am not; that there is Someone walking right by my side every step of the way. This I believe!