Thursday, January 21, 2010

"She's Not My Friend"

This morning I took Antalya to preschool as usual. We were hanging up her coat in the bathroom while another cute little kid was washing his hands at the sink. Antalya went over to say hello to him. He looked up at me and quickly said, "she's not my friend!" I politely reminded him that all the kids in preschool were his friend. He didn't seem to agree and was quick to tell me once more that Antalya was not his friend.

I could've been very hurt by his words, but come on - he's three! And chances are he wasn't saying it based on anything that had to do with Antalya. She's been in his class for less than two weeks. I'm sure he was merely stating a fact that he has many friends at school, and that Antalya just didn't happen to be one. I get that.

He may not have meant any harm by his words, but I know that one day someone will say something similar and they will mean harm by it. Will I have to teach Antalya how to not take offense at others words and actions, or will her innocence carry her through all the hurtful things out there?

And really, how anyone (even a 3 year old) could not completely adore this sweet face is beyond me!


Dehner Family said...

Seriously! That face melts my heart. So cute!

Becky J. said...

I detest the idea of having to help my girls deal with people who are unkind to them. I just hope that I can teach them to be kind to everyone. I think that is a great talent to possess and hope I can help them cultivate it. Being a mom really is hard now, but I don't look forward to the day when it will really be tough because I can't just kiss their hurts away.

And that picture of Antalya is adorable! What a sweet girl!

Adam, Jaci, Grant and Grace said...

Great approach to the situation. That will be difficult to deal with one day and I think about it often. So you will have to teach me what you learn on your journey!!! And seriously, Antalya is the cutest thing! She IS my friend!

Jan said...

Oh my heart . . .That made me hurt . . .I believe you're a wise mom and will be able to help her deal with whatever unkindnesses come her way. All children get hurt, but Antalya will likely never be the one to inflict hurt on anyone else. That's one thing you won't have to teach her. I love the picture! She's a dolly!

Bunsy said...

I'm just starting to experience that with Atticus. And yes, it does hurt. The thing about Antalya is that she is truly innocent. What a picture. She's really cute. Cinci would love to be her friend!

Jeana said...

She is the most beautiful little girl! You are so level headed, I would have been offended, sad to say. I used to get offended by things my 3 year old cousin used to say to me when I was in high school. I know, pathetic...thanks for your good example.

Sonja said...

Aaack! You are so right! How could anyone not love that beauty? :)

Last year Elise sang very loudly in primary. She felt so good about singing and felt pretty confident in her ability to sing. Then another girl told her she should stop singing because she sounded ugly. I though my heart would break, but she took it all in stride. Elise said she felt bad for the girl because she got in a lot of trouble. It was a learning experience for both of us. And changed her a little. Unfortunately growing up can be painful.

But that's why we have families who love us and help us through. :)

The Munck Family said...

Perfect! That's what Miss Antalya is!!!

I understand every word you wrote. Jonathan has had the same thing happen many times, it never gets easier for me to hear. The last time a little boy said that he then told me rather quickly "but I am James' friend". James being Jonathan's younder brother...this from a little boy at church.

This is when I want to get on my soap box and say "Hello this way of thinking is because parents aren't educating their children on the many different people that God created". This is when again I'm thankful for those we know like you who are walking this road along side us, and encourage us.

Michelle said...

ah, that does hurt a mom's heart to hear that :( But she probably wouldn't want him as a friend anyway!

She's going to have many, many friends in her lifetime!

such a gorgeous pic of Antalya!

Marie said...

Beyond me too! She's adorable.